Video Game Review: Sonic Dash

And the iPhone game saga continues.

Sonic Dash is a free iPhone game that is very similar to Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (if you’re playing as Sonic or Shadow), but you have a touch screen instead of controller. All you do is run through the course collecting rings and killing bad guys without dying. You can play as Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, or Amy.

There is extremely little I like about this game, but I will put forward that I might have set my expectations too high. I love Sonic the Hedgehog, and Sonic Adventure 2 Battle is one of my favorite games of all time. So when I say I had high expectations for this free game, I really did expect a lot from it.

But this game is a horror scene. Whoever thought that making everything the same bright colors is a moron. You can’t see some of the obstacles, and making some of the objects you go over and some you go under look the exact same makes the game play confusing. Additionally, the game consistently puts obstacles in awkward spots so you don’t actually see some of them before you need to avoid them.

The game does not respond quickly to one’s touch, so if you want to avoid something at the last second it will not work. I also don’t like that tilting the phone doesn’t do anything (unlike Temple Run 2) and that you have to use your finger to do everything; it’s really annoying.

The most irksome thing for me is how much the ‘free’ game relies on money. Unlike Temple Run 2, in order to advance in Sonic Dash you do need to spend real money. I don’t mind if people spend money on a game if they want to, but if you are going to have a free game don’t make buying things once you’re in it necessary.

In case you couldn’t tell I’m not recommending this game to anyone. It’s a wonder I haven’t deleted it from my phone already.

Ace plays Final Fantasy VII: The Plot Thickens

So I’ve already given an overall review on the plot of this game, but for any of you who either didn’t read that or didn’t play the game, here’s what the plot boils down to in its simplest form: some asshole’s mother tells said asshole to summon a meteor to murder the Planet, so he does it without question. Of course, that doesn’t really do the plot justice, because as I said last time, Final Fantasy VII can become really complex, especially when we take into account the setting and character backstories.

Furthermore, VII did something completely unexpected and shocking: It killed off a main character.

This is not something that often happened in games at this point in time. The death of Aerith has to be one of the most memorable moments in video game-dom. Unfortunately, though FFVII did succeed in giving Aerith’s death meaning, her passing is still surrounded by plot holes.

They also made her Jesus.

Fanfiction Fridays: Anyone up for some old-school slash?

Okay, to be fair, I haven’t seen Star Trek Into Darkness yet. I’m seeing it tonight. So I don’t know what happens in it or what beautiful relationships blossomed or were furthered or which ships were brutally sunk.

Either way, I felt like starting off this Star Trek day with a little good old-fashioned Kirk/Spock, yanno, the pairing that started it all. Of course, in keeping with the fact that it’s nu!Trek day and not Original!Trek day, this fic is set in the rebooted Star Trek verse (sometimes referred to as XI).

Kyliselle’s “How High the Moon” series is sort of famous in the reboot’s K/S fandom (although probably not as famous as her “Baseball” series). Back in the day when I followed the kirkspock LiveJournal comm, her fics were a perennial favorite, considered a must-read for both newbs to the fandom and old guard slashers alike.

“How High the Moon” is in five parts, and follows Kirk as he tries and fails to forge the fabled connection Spock Prime promised him he should have with his commanding officer—a friendship that would define them both, as it were. However, Spock doesn’t seem the least bit interested in Kirk as a friend or anything else, and his rejection of Kirk may be hurting Jim more than either of them realize.

This fic has great imagery, a really solid basis in both reboot and TOS canon, great tension and characterization, no lady-bashing, and, my favorite in fanfic, buckets of hurt/comfort situations (and my secret weakness, Vulcan endearments). Check out this series here and let me know what you think!

On Marvel’s Mega Minds and Missing Women

Marvel’s 2010 crossover storyline Fall of the Hulks, which occurs sort of concurrently with the events of the Siege storyline, details among other things the plot of a cabal of evil, brainy superheroes to kidnap the world’s eight smartest people. The Intelligencia [sic], as they call themselves, arouse the ire of various Hulks in the process, leading to all sorts of hijinks and craziness, as well as the World War Hulk story and its two issue miniseries, Hulked Out Heroes.

Try not to imagine the kind of mindboggling destruction that an entity equal parts Hulk and Deadpool would wreak. Instead, let’s go back and talk about the fact that Marvel has offered up a list of its terrestrial supergeniuses. This is great! I really want to know who the smartest people on Earth-616 are, don’t you? Let’s take a look at who was worth capturing (in no particular order):

The Road So Far: “Sacrifice” Review

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Saika: Okay, so much shit happened in this episode that I didn’t think I could go it alone, so I dragged Luce into co-writing this with me. How is this only our first copost?

Luce: …

Saika: Anyway, so, the season finale. Let’s be real, guys, this was all over the place. Hit the jump for spoilers.

The Winter Witch

Since everyone in my neck of the woods has been enjoying relatively warm weather, I thought I would discuss a novel set in wintry Wales. I was hesitant at first to review this book because I found it in the teen section. Teen novels are not everyone’s cup of tea. However, I try my best not to discriminate against books based solely on their intended audience. Not every teen novel is stupid and more than a few have a good story to tell. They will often even have interesting heroines and heroes. Paula Brackston‘s The Winter Witch is a pretty cool novel. I’m always up for a book about magic, but what I got was far more than another book about a teenage witch who finds love. I don’t think it’s a stretch to call The Winter Witch a fantastic piece of fantasy fiction, and the protagonist Morgana a well-written and interesting character.

Theatre Thursdays: ‘Into the Woods’ and Onto the Screen!

Oh my! A movie camera!

The beloved musical Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine is set to be adapted as a movie! If you’re unfamiliar with the musical, it is a re-telling of multiple fairy tales whose stories and characters intertwine when they go on their individual journeys “into the woods”. The well-known “happily ever after” ending of each tale is only half of the musical’s story, which continues to explore how these characters grow and learn after their adventures and realize that “witches can be right, giants can be good” and that “wishes come true, not free”. It’s a really excellent musical that I suggest checking out. The original Broadway production was filmed and released on DVD so you can purchase it from Amazon for as little as three bucks to stream online.

According to broadway.com, Rob Marshall will be directing the movie with theatrical juggernaut Disney producing. I’m seeing this as a double-edged sword, really. Working with Disney should mean ample funds for production costs so we can expect great locations/sets, costumes, and special effects which, though not a definite necessity for this musical, will definitely be appreciated. On the other hand, Disney is primarily a children’s entertainment company and despite the use of fairy tales in this musical, it is a very complex and adult story. There are marital difficulties, dark implications, sexual undertones, and overall just a lot of moral complexity that I worry Disney may try to tone down or gloss over.

So far Meryl Streep is confirmed for the lead role of the Witch, and I have confidence in her ability to handle the character. This is arguably the most important role in the story, as it is the Witch’s plans which make the characters’ paths cross in the woods and brings the stories together. She’s also probably the clearest example of the moral ambiguity of the musical, which presents her as controlling and calculating, but also loving and guarded. Her songs “The Last Midnight” and “Children Will Listen” show the heart of her character as well as the show.

This was the only kind of Witchy photo I could find of Meryl…

Additional names loosely attached to the project are Johnny Depp as the Baker (though he’s also been rumored as the Big Bad Wolf), Jake Gyllenhaal as Cinderella’s Prince, and Chris Pine as Rapunzel’s Prince. I don’t have much of an opinion on the Princes, but I think Depp could make a fantastic Baker and it would be (or at least should be) a role unlike his usual schtick. The Baker isn’t creepy, offbeat, or larger than life; he’s kind of just lovable and a little goofy with a soft heart. It’d be nice to Depp take on a character who’s not so grandiose.

One of the best things about this musical being made into a movie is that very few of the characters really need to be played by strong singers and since Hollywood seems nigh on incapable of casting people in musicals who can both act and sing, this one should be very doable. I look forward to this movie, and hopefully it lives up to the strength of its source.