Fanfiction Fridays: Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles ) by proudhousewife

MadameAce: So for those of you who haven’t yet seen it in all its glory, there is now a Christian-safe version of Harry Potter that you can enjoy. Our author, proudhousewife, wanted her children to be able to read Harry Potter, without the fear that the story would turn them into Satanic witches. And let’s face it: this is a pretty legitimate fear. After I read the first couple books, I immediately bought myself a wand and ran around screaming “Avada Kedavra” at people. Clearly, the devil has taken hold of my soul.

My face when I first realized that.

My face when I first realized that.

If only there had been a Christian-friendly version of the books I could have read back then. One that preferably condescends to small children, teaches girls that being both beautiful and in the kitchen is what glorifies God, insinuates that non-Christians and Catholics are incapable of love and achieving salvation, and tells us that evolutionists are stupid.

Hagrid laughed wisely. “Evolution is a fairytale. You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“Yes, I do!” Aunt Petunia screeched.

“Well then prove it!”

Aunt Petunia could only stare at him; and her big mouth hung open dumbly. Here she thought she was so educated; and she always demanded that Christians prove what they believed in; but she couldn’t even prove her own religion. It was then that Harry knew who the smart one here was!

Oh, thank goodness. All these years, I believed in evolution. I now know how wrong I was!

I have no idea whether Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles )—yes, there is actually a half parentheses in its title for some reason—is a parody or genuine. I’m also not sure that I care. I have finally seen the light.

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The Secret of Moonacre: A “Legend” Worth Remembering

The Secret of Moonacre MariaIn looking through Tim Curry’s filmography, I was somewhat startled to stumble upon a film that bore more than a slight resemblance to Legend in terms of plot. A battle between light and darkness that must reach its conclusion before the cursed land is destroyed completely sound familiar? Yeah, okay, maybe I have a “type” for flicks, but I figured why the hell not. And in the twenty-five years between Legend and The Secret of Moonacre, the story had to have gotten better, right? Children’s movie or not, the storytelling had to have at least improved… right?

Yes. Oh god, yes. Yes it did.

Spoilers lay under the cut.

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Throwback Thursdays: Stargate SG-1

Welcome to another edition of Throwback Thursdays! I want to talk about the sci-fi show of my childhood—Stargate SG-1. The story starts as an ancient teleportation device, the Stargate, is discovered in Egypt, and Dr. Daniel Jackson, an anthropologist, joins the team lead by Col. Jack O’Neill to explore the worlds connected by the Stargates. The team is also joined by Dr. Samantha Carter, astrophysicist and member of the U.S. Air Force. On one of their expeditions they meet Teal’c, an alien slave warrior. He betrays his masters, the Goa’uld, and joins the team. The Goa’uld are a parasitic alien race pretending to be gods, and they remain the main enemies of our heroes for most of the show’s run.

Stargate_SG-1_teamAs a child, I loved this show because it was set “now” and the Stargate allowed them to travel to different planets without any tedious or scary space travel. Daniel and Sam were my favorites—as a child who would grow up to be a scientist, I related to their excitement and curiosity about learning about different planets, people, and technology. Now, as an adult, I decided to revisit my favorite series to see if it’s as good as I remember. I actually just finished watching the entire series. And, well, the result is mixed. But despite my annoyance at various offensive tropes, I still loved it, mainly because of the awesome female characters.

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The Moth Diaries: a Sad Film Homage to the Gothic Tale, Carmilla

Trigger warning for cutting in the trailer!

October is one of my favorite months. You’ve got pumpkin-flavored everything, Halloween, and of course scary movies. I had heard about the film The Moth Diaries online, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. Was this going to be a horror movie, or another Hollywood flop? The only thing I knew was that it’s loosely based off of Carmilla, a Gothic lesbian novella written in 1871. I’ve never read the novel, but I’ve read about it online. The trailer seemed interesting enough (and not overly sexualized), so I watched the movie. It’s thought-provoking, yet rather hollow. Sure, I wasn’t expecting a romance film, but there was a lack of depth to all the characters. The most disappointing thing about the movie was the dynamic between the characters, and the role sex had in the plot.

Spoilers and a trigger warning for sexual themes, nudity, suicide, and blood after the jump. Continue reading

Web Crush Wednesdays: Adam Warrock—Pop Culture Hip-Hop

web crush wednesdaysI love music and it has often been a comfort to me; I’ve also found value and comfort in nerdy things. So, mixing these two concepts together is the perfect product for me. This week’s Web Crush Wednesday, Adam Warrock, makes self-proclaimed “Overly Enthusiastic Hip-Hop” about pop culture and general nerdy media.

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Sleepy Hollow: “Go Where I Send Thee…” Review

sleepy hollow season 2 bannerHey Sleepyheads! It’s finally my turn to review the episode of the week, and I’m damn pleased that this was the one I got. “Go Where I Send Thee…” was a solid monster of the week episode with some long-reaching plot consequences, and I enjoyed the heck out of it.

Spoilers below the jump.

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Trailer Tuesdays: What We Do in the Shadows

I wanted to offer all of you a horror movie today. As one of the horror film lovers on this site—though my tastes tend towards the eye-roll worthy, admittedly—I feel that is it my duty to do so, especially in the spirit of this month. However, I’ve come to a realization that outside of a highly interesting-looking documentary on Quidditch (the sport of Harry Potter fame re-crafted for Muggle players) and a horror film about a Ouija board summoning that looks hilariously awful (like, Paranormal Activity 4 awful), there are just no movies I’d bother recommending. As such, I’m going to rec a film that’s already had its day in the sun but we’ve unfortunately missed talking about until now.

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