Um, no. Just… just, no. Of all the things they could put into a teaser, they chose this. Some of you may remember my trailer review for part one, but that at least tried to make the movie seem epic, despite the bland nothingness that is Twilight. This trailer seems to be shooting for mysterious or, dare I say, magical.
I should mention that there’s nothing mysterious or magical in the Twilight universe. Werewolves and sparkly vampires excluded, but even then there’s no mystery because there’s no subtlety, and reading the books never felt like a magical experience.
So maybe this trailer is only trying to be suspenseful?
Yeah, I’m moving on to the next point now.
First of all, no, Bella didn’t spend the first eighteen years of her life as an ordinary girl. Ordinary girls don’t having four boys falling over her when she moves to a new school, and in the Twilight universe, ordinary girls do not smell super sweet to vampires, like they have flowers in their blood. She would also probably produce some form of thought too, so Edward could read her mind.
I also love the message: that she couldn’t “shine” without becoming a vampire, and that humans are the lesser creatures.
But the biggest problem is that nothing’s happening. The part one trailer at least showed us the antagonists. Nothing is at stake here, except for maybe that deer at the end, who may or may not end up being the most compelling character of the entire movie. I’d actually have to watch it to find out.
Okay, I’m now having trouble getting this video to work, so you can all watch it here.
I realize that this trailer has probably been out for a while now, but I don’t really keep up with the hype anymore, or at all, for that matter. Unfortunately, this may not be the only time we’re ever going to see a Breaking Dawn trailer, because it’s quite possible that this is following in Harry Potter’s footsteps, so there may be more down the road. Though, I’m not really sure what Breaking Dawn actually has to offer in order to make two movies.
While I am not a fan of the books or movies, I do admit that I like the trailers for the Twilight universe. My problem with the trailers is that since I’ve read all the books, I know how big of a lie all the epicness in the trailers actually is. The Twilight books don’t offer anything to an audience outside of an escape from reality. Sure, they can be entertaining, but they’re not good. The audience gets sucked into Bella’s life and goes through her everyday house-daughter routine. There are epic battles raging around her, werewolves and vampires, a love triangle, and so on and so forth. But despite all of that, nothing happens. Nothing. The books read more like a Livejournal account than a novel: Bella did this, Bella did that, and Bella just now suffered a heart attack after kissing her cold, abusive, scintillating, incandescent, golden-eyed, stalker boytoy.
There’s nothing there to advertise. I’m of the mindset that the books only sold because they read like fanfiction. But despite the blatant nothing that goes on in the series, a decent trailer has to be made in order to sell the movie, to bring people in, though at this point the only people going to see Breaking Dawn are probably avid fans and opinionated haters—and yes, I’m one of them. But everyone involved in producing this movie is clearly trying to make it more interesting than it really is.
Just watch the trailer. Like the books, nothing’s going on, but there’s an intense dramatic air to it, yet the only thing to be seen for the first half minute or so is a bunch of people reading cards and walking from place to place with such passion, such intent, as though something interesting might be happening in the next room.
The emotion the characters are feeling is just shoved down the audience’s throat. It’s certainly more emotion than anything we’ve seen in the books, but it’s just so forced and contrived. Like wow, Bella and Edward are getting married; let’s waste a couple seconds on her hairclip because that really lets the fans feel the emotion she’s going through. Let’s show Edward gripping his own arm. Let’s show Jacob run and turn into a werewolf like in the New Moon trailer and just add rain. Hey, and the non-sex scenes will really make people flock to the theater, especially the non-sex rape scene when Bella passes out and Edward breaks the bed. Then, Bella and Edward kiss and Random-Chick-No-One-Cares about is awkwardly thrown down a hallway. And showing clips of Edward and Jacob turning their heads back to back is just so gripping.
And let’s not forget Bella figuring out she’s pregnant and for once saying something everyone can agree with: “That’s impossible.”
Throughout all the Twilight books—all of them—nothing ever happens until the very end, and this movie, judging by the trailer, only covers the first half of the last book. What’s going to happen? How is the movie going to filter out the holes in Bella’s boring life in order to make something worth sitting in a theater for two and a half hours? Sadly, the answer is more than likely that it’s not.
