Fanfiction Fridays: Are You There, God? It’s Me, Canada by Jekaro

Sometimes I would like to say I have taste in what I choose to fangirl over. Sometimes, I would like to say that I get into a series because of the meaningful plot and the deep characters. However, sometimes this is complete and utter bullshit. I know that some will argue that Hetalia has both of these traits, but you have to look exceedingly hard to find either in most cases.

In a series that has about one main plot and a million filler plot-lets—filler plot as in “wow, this is wacky/hilarious/cute/etc. but will have no lasting impact on the character”—and that each episode is divided into about three to four five-minute segments (in total, the episode

Hnnnnnnnngggg

is about fifteen minutes, content-wise), it’s hard to say that it said plot is in anyway ground shaking. Also, as far as author Hidekazu Himaruya is concerned, the characters are slightly flat and serve mainly as marketing tools which have served him well. Hey, I’m not going to lie: I got into the series for good looking boys and stayed for the…good looking boys (although the girls are pretty awesome too).

Good thing there’s fandom picking up the author’s slack.

Of course there’s a fair share of indulgent slash with no point what-so-ever, but if there’s one thing that this fandom has done better than a lot of other fandoms it’s creating fanon (fan-made character ideas that become so widely accepted that they’re like actual canon). I actually care more—or should I just say ‘actually care’?—for these characters because of what I’ve seen in fan works. So, allow me to introduce you to one of those works. Now, if you’ve read any of our ‘Fanfiction Follies’ series, you have an inkling of an idea of what types of fanfiction that I approve of and that I find “suddenly the characters are in high school!” fic to be for the most part stupid. This is a high school fic.

No, no, hear me out.

There’s a reason why Are You There, God? It’s Me, Canada works as a high school fic and that’s because the characters actually act like they’re in high school. A shocking concept, I know. There are actual teachers. Actual cliques that exist for more than just drama against the main character. Homework. Other students outside of the main character’s posse that have lives. It just exceeds my expectations in every way for this type of fic in general. Author, Jekaro, also makes the wise decision to not have all the main characters from the show be students. The older countries end up being teachers (IE: Germany, Italy) and parents. The younger countries are the students along with some other miscellaneous original characters.

The story itself focuses on Canada, and oft passed over character: in fact, in the show itself, it’s often joked about that no one even remember who Canada is, not even his pet.

No, Seriously. I've Never Seen This Guy Before.

Canada (who will be called by his human name, Matthew, for the rest of the review) lives with his two parents, England (“Dad”) and France (“Papa”), and his brother U.S.(Alfred). As a fervent FRUK family shipper, this made me too happy for words.

Mostly the story is about Matthew trying to find his own way through life, coming out from behind the shadow of his brother and being proud of who he is. Which is what high school is usually about. This story isn’t breaking new ground per say, but what really makes it is the wit and the relationships between the other characters. Holy shit, Matthew is hilarious. He is, of course, vulnerable and awkward as well, but his sarcasm is highly enjoyable. Take for instance this little nugget of gold he writes in his journal (NOT a diary) as his parents are making up after a fight.

Even later

Sakura petals
Falling on my hair in spring
My walls are too thin

Fields are made bright gold
Baked soft in the summer heat
Why are they so loud?

The fall air is crisp
Like breathing in ice cold clouds
Seriously guys

Winter brings the snow
Cold and clean like brand new sheets
Someone kill me now

And most everyone, even the highly welcomed addition of Seychelles as his best friend, has this kind of humor. It’s seriously great.

And as I stated earlier, relationships play a big part. Matthew’s parents must find a way to

FRUK Family is Precious Family.

relate to their son which is terribly difficult given how they’re so used to dealing with Alfred, the loud and bombastic jock that he is. And this difficulty the parents have is palpable and believable. Heartbreaking at times, but there’s always hope and humor. Besides that, Matthew not only has to deal with falling in love, but also coming to terms with the fact that he is falling in love with a boy…who looks like and dresses like a girl All the emotions Matthew goes through, all the thought processes, are realistic and it’s clear that Jekaro really thought this through rather than going straight for the ‘Hawt Yaoiz’ ™. I would have never considered the adorable Poland x Canada ship previous to this fic, but it’s really great. I just love it when a fan work can open my eyes to something I never saw before!

And so, dear reader, I offer this story up to you to enjoy. If you like slice-of-life with a dash of drama and a healthy dose of wit, this is your story. Read it here at the LJ Kink Meme (I’d give it a solid PG-13 rating, so don’t worry about the meme name…for this story.)! I should warn you, though, that the story never finished and it seems to have been abandoned. Alas! Perhaps someday they will continue. I’ll hold out for that day.

Top 20 Romantic Couples in Geekdom (10 Canon/10 Fanon)

Those of us here at LGG&F worked tirelessly to compile and vote on the top 10 canon and top 10 fanon pairings in Geekdom. You have no idea how hard it was to come to a consensus on what was actually canon or not!

THE CANON LIST:

1. Princess Leia/Han Solo

“I happen to like nice men.” – Leia

“I’m a nice man.” – Han Solo

“No, you’re not.” – Leia

The space pirate and the princess, Han helps Luke rescue Leia from the clutches of the evil empire and the rest, as they say, is history. If you like couples that start off hating each other, then this is the couple for you! Han and Leia participate in many a witty jab at the others expense. Meanwhile, the sexual tension between the two is so thick even Chewbacca notices it. Sure, there was a brief and confusing time when it seemed that maybe Luke and Leia where going to get together—*shudders*—but real Star Wars fans and a blood test quickly cleared that up. Thanks, George Lucas, for giving us this great couple!

2. Doctor/Rose

“How long are you going to stay with me” – The Doctor

“Forever.” – Rose

Okay, so Doctor/Rose. The Doctor is a traveler through time and space and the last of his species. Rose is a young shopgirl from London whom he meets and with whom he travels for two seasons (all of the Ninth Doctor and the first season of Ten). They have adventures and fight everything from ghosts to Satan. The Doctor helps Rose realize her value outside of being a shopgirl while they learn new things. Rose helps the Doctor move past his depression in being the last Time Lord alive after the Time War. They are separated into parallel universes while saving the Earth, but later reunited. The Doctor at one point is separated into a Time Lord and human self, and the human self chooses to return to the parallel universe with Rose because he can commit to her in a way the Time Lord Doctor cannot.

The Doctor and Rose share this intense love of discovering new things even when they’re potentially dangerous. They sort of have an unspoken understanding that they love each other (it’s not verbalized until pretty much the last time you see Rose). Their relationship involves a lot of hugs and lust and shared amused looks/eyesex, etc, etc.

3. Willow/Tara

“I am, you know.” – Tara

“What?” – Willow

“Yours.” – Tara

Both witches Willow and Tara meet at college in a Wicca group where they discover they are the only two real witches. After several altercations with monsters, Willow and Tara begin to grow closer, leading Willow to question her previously assumed heterosexuality. Eventually, Willow follows her heart to Tara, and since then the two have been one of TV’s best same sex couples.

4. Xavin/Karolina Dean

“This is my beloved’s home, and now it is mine. I will die for it. Will you?” – Xavin

Karolina Dean is an alien that absorbs solar energy into her body and can shoot it back out at you just as fast. She is an openly lesbian character in the Marvel team known as the Runaways. Xavin is a shape-shifting gender-fluid skrull prince/princess who is engaged to Karolina. Their relationship starts off rocky. First, with the two teenagers coming to terms with their marriage, and then with Karolina struggling over the fact that Xavin is not always a woman who she is attracted two. Despite this adversity and the constant bad guys trying to kill them, the two manage to find an enduring love for the ages.

5. Usagi/Mamoru:

“Mamoru, please say it once more.” – Usagi

“Again? But I’ve said it fifty times!” – Mamoru

“Please? One more time?” – Usagi

“Okay, for the last time. Marry me, Usagi.” – Mamoru

Whether we’re talking about Serenity/Endymion, Sailor Moon/Tuxedo Mask, or even Serena/Darien, these two lives are always linked. In the manga, anime, musicals, and live-action series, their relationship varies in its depiction but their devotion to each other can’t be denied. I’d like to talk primarily about their relationship in the live-action series, Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, because this incarnation of the story has the most unique depiction of their relationship.

Unlike in the anime, the two develop feelings for each other as Usagi and Mamoru first, rather than realizing they were lovers in the past and beginning a relationship from there. The affection they have for each other is so strong that Usagi’s crush on Tuxedo Mask is actually eclipsed by her feelings for Mamoru after a lot of distress on her part as she sorts out her feelings. When the pair learn of their past in this series, unlike every other incarnation, it nearly destroys their relationship, rather than solidifying it. They learn that their affair was essentially the downfall of both their kingdoms in their past lives and at first try to stay away from each other to avoid repeating the tragedy. They realize, of course, that they can’t simply stop wanting each other and decide that they will not be ruled by their past, that they choose to love one another now, in the present, despite the probability that they are doomed to bring about ruin by doing so. It is this choice that I think strengthens the Usagi/Mamoru relationship as opposed to the “Miracle Romance” of the other incarnations of the story. This is not to say that I don’t think their relationship in the manga/anime/musicals is any less true or beautiful, just that the implications of fate working against them, as opposed to, in their favor makes their choice to be together that much more impressive in PGSM.

6. Westley/Buttercup

“As you wish.” – Wesley

One of the greatest love stories you will ever read anywhere and also one of the funniest. Westley starts out as a poor farm boy working for Buttercup. She mistreats him horribly, but soon she falls just as madly in love with him as he is with her. When Buttercup thinks Westley is killed, she abandons hope and nearly marries an evil prince, but Westley soon returns, because, well, “death cannot stop true love; it can only delay it for a while.” Buttercup and Westley also share one of the greatest kisses in all of history. If you don’t like these two, then you might just have no heart.

7. Jane Eyre/Edward Rochester

“I know no weariness of my Edward’s society: he knows none of mine, any more than we each do of the pulsation of the heart that beats in our separate bosoms; consequently, we are ever together. To be together is for us to be at once as free as in solitude, as gay as in company. We talk, I believe, all day long: to talk to each other is but a more animated and an audible thinking. All my confidence is bestowed on him, all his confidence is devoted to me; we are precisely suited in character—perfect concord is the result.” – Jane Eyre

Jane and Edward are not the typical lovers. They are twenty years different in age; she is poor, obscure, and little, while he is rich, well known, not handsome (though does posses a fine pair of dark eyes), and while athletic in build, is not particularly tall. They are not beautiful in body, but they are in mind. Jane is plain, but she has a sprightly and empathetic disposition, coupled with a strong sense of justice and a surprisingly quick temper. Rochester is dark and brooding—*swoon*—with a sarcastic sense of humor, but he is passionate, especially when it comes to Jane (Bow chicka bow wow). Their love is not instant; it grows through the time they spend together and the trials they are put through. Though they have societal differences, it is their spirits, their mutual affection, and compatibility that make them such an amusing, beautiful, and ultimately romantic couple.

8. Apollo/Midnighter

“God, I just love you to bits sometime.” – Midnighter

What to say about Apollo and Midnighter? They where originally introduce in Stormwatch, which was in a universe outside of the normal DC universe. It has often been pointed out that these two characters are simply the gay version of Batman and Superman, and while they do share many similarities. They are also extremely badass superheroes willing to kill for those they love. The two are subtle about their relationship in the beginning, but soon share their relationship with their teammates. They eventually get married and adopt a little girl. Word to the wise though, super villains, if you mess with this family you may end up without a head… or worse.

9. Arwen/Aragorn

“I choose a mortal life.” – Arwen

“You cannot give this to me.” – Aragorn

“It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart.” – Arwen

A timeless love that crossed cultural divides and racism. Arwen gives up her immortality to live a short life as a mortal with Aragorn, despite her father’s disapproval and the concerns of her people. There is actually not much said about Aragorn and Arwen in the actual series, though there is plenty in the book’s massive appendix, as well as in the movies. Arwen’s and Aragorn’s love is pure and sweet, the kind of a noble knight for his faithful lady. It’s a classic that we love.

10. Joker/Harley

“Aw, c’mon, Puddin’. Don’tcha wanna rev up your Harley? VROOOM VROOM!” – Harley Quinn

What’s a romance list without a little mad love? A bad one, that’s what! Harley and the Joker don’t have a stable relationship, not by any means, but if you ask fans about comic book romances, they will more likely than not mention Harley and her Puddin’. Let’s be serious: their love is deranged, sick, twisted, and maybe a little bit sweet. The Joker himself worries that he might care too much about Harley in some comics. Unfortunately, that doesn’t bring about a change in Joker; it just makes him want to kill poor Harley! Well, Harley can change him right… no, probably not.

THE FANON LIST:

Kida/Anri/Mikado

Kida, Anri, and Mikado all are high school students that secretly run different gangs in the city. Yep, anime… go figure? Despite running rival gangs, the three maintain a friendship and eventually work together. Their love is epic and there is just too much of it for one person. So maybe Kida had some other girlfriend—screw her! She wasn’t nearly as cool as Anri and Mikado! Congrats to our list’s only OT3.

Dean/Castiel

Move over, Wincest fans! Profound bond coming through! Only two pairings were almost unanimously voted for on this list, and Dean and Castiel were one of them. An angel and his hunter, the eye sex alone may be enough to point out how totally in love they are. Castiel fell from heaven and died for Dean twice. Castiel is the first person Dean has ever trusted that wasn’t family (Bobby doesn’t count; he was basically their dad). Dean, however… insists that he’s straight… yep. But the fans know Dean is lying. And to prove it, the fans dominate every online couples contest. Castiel and Dean won best couple in a poll done by Spoiler TV, and are now going head to head with Faberry and Klaine (both from Glee). Castiel and Dean, their love is heavenly!

Snape/Lily

Another paring almost unanimously voted for by our writers. Snape always loved Lily. Always. Fans of the Harry Potter series adore Snape so much that his happiness wins out over the birth of Harry Potter. A slew of fanfics were written describing the beautiful love between Lily and Snape. After all, JKR admits that James was Lily’s second choice… because you know, Snape called her a mudblood, but if he hadn’t done that she totally would have married him, because she loved him way more than James. Snape and Lily, in the minds of fans, they will always be together.

Batman/Superman

They’re best friends, best buds, best pals! They are as close as two men can be… Let’s be honest, Batman and Superman are a little into each other. There is a reason Apollo and Midnighter were created, and that reason is that fans saw the sexual tension in droves. The relationship between Batman and Superman rivals that of even the most avid Batman/Robin fans. Their love is chaotic and often filled with problems, mostly because of Batman’s abandonment issues, but despite all this fans are convinced it’s Batman and Superman forever.

Sam/Frodo

There are several Tolkien scholars that would smack me over the head right now if they new this couple made the list. Sam and Frodo are war buddies… brothers… okay, fine, lovers trying desperately to save Middle Earth despite only having each other, and I guess Gollum, to rely on. So this may be one of the most contested pairing on this list. Some people love them; some people hate them. But hey, if they found some happiness with each other during these troubling times, who are we to judge?

Kirk/Spock

A fandom that boldly went where no fandom had gone before! Kirk and Spock hold the honor and distinction of being the original slash pairing. You don’t want to mess with Kirk/Spock shippers. Like all things that involve Star Trek, Kirk and Spock are a pairing ardently defended and upheld by the fans. And who could blame them? Both characters are bachelors for life and seem to only care about each other and a ship. Okay, that may be an over simplification, but you see my point. When Spock is going through the Vulcan mating cycle of Pon Farr, it takes rolling around in the dirt with Kirk to help him find release. Ladies and gentleman, the original slash pairing!

Jason/Kimberly

They’re the ship you shipped before you knew what shipping was. Well, maybe that’s only true for me, but whatever. Throughout the first three seasons of Power Rangers (IIRC—Jason left sometime in the third season, but I may be mistaken) and especially in the episodes prior to Tommy’s arrival, there were strong hints that Jason Scott and Kimberly Hart were romantically interested in each other, or at the very least shared a closer bond with each other than they did with the other Rangers. From the beginning of the show, when the group was in danger these two always seemed to seek each other out in the chaos, for protection, for assurance that the other was safe, for shared strength. Whatever the reason, they almost invariably grabbed or at least looked to each other in moments of peril. Classroom scenes and schemes which involved splitting up often shows Kimberly and Jason together, and even when Tommy and Kimberly were dating, for the time Jason remained on the show there was still a closeness he and Kimberly shared. Jason/Kimberly shippers got the biggest gift of all in the form of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie which, as far as I’m concerned, made the couple canon.

France/England

The characters in Hetalia are anthropomorphized countries, so France/England is based partially on the diplomatic history between France and England, like they reimagine a proposed treaty between the countries as a marriage proposal, etc. England is portrayed as a stuffy, superstitious, sort of uncool guy, whereas France is a flamboyant, womanizing/… manizing, wine- and food-loving layabout who solves his problems with love.

Light/L

Ah, what can be said about L and Light? Their relationship certainly isn’t healthy. Much like Harley and Joker, there is a lot of abuse and manipulation happening here. Unlike our two favorite clowns, however, there is a mutual respect and understanding. There is also the kink factor. L handcuffs himself to Light in order to ensure he is definitely not Kira. Boy, did that spawn some porny fanfiction. And show of hands who thought they were going to make out in the rain in that last episode? Yes, I said last episode! Are there episodes after L? No, there are not, but there is always fanfiction.

Harry/Draco

Harry stalked Draco all through book six of the Harry Potter series then saved him from fiery death in book seven. Draco loves to pester Harry all the time, but we know he really just wants Harry’s attention. This couple is probably one of the most intense love/hate relationships on this list, but as every fanfic everywhere has said, there is a fine line between love and hate. Harry and Draco prove that more than anyone. So what if both Draco and Harry got married and had kids with weird names? That’s actually an alternate universe, thank you very much. We all know that Harry married Draco after the events of Deathly Hallows, that’s just fact.