Come on, Rushers. Don’t be that fandom.

This week it was announced that Big Time Rush will be touring the US with fellow Nickelodeon star Victoria Justice this summer. Good news, right? That’s what I thought at least, but the reaction of my fellow Rushers has been less than positive.

Now, there have been times when I’ve kind of shaken my head at this fandom, but the only time I’m truly disappointed in it is when a girl has anything to do with the boys. That’s when the unabashed hate comes out and I just have to plead with my fellow Rushers to stop insulting any woman who comes into contact with the members of the band.

[For the remainder of this article I will use the word “you” to address the fans to whom I must speak. If you, dear reader, are not a person who has ever insulted a woman who was linked with your favorite celebrity, then my use of the word isn’t actually directed to you, but if you are, then maybe you need to hear what I’m about to say, whether you’re a Rusher or not.]

Why do you get so angry whenever a woman gets near these guys for any reason, be it photo-shoot, music video, or collaboration? Why is your first reaction “She doesn’t deserve to be with him/them”? Why can’t you be happy for the girls who get to spend time with these great guys, and for the guys who get to spend time with these great girls? They are doing no harm to each other and while I understand the desire to be protective of your favorite celebrity because you care about them, they really don’t need it.

They’re adults. They can handle their own personal lives without our input.

Whenever one of the guys is romantically linked with a girl she is almost instantly greeted with declarations of “slut” and “unworthy” and other vitriol from a very vocal section of the fandom, and the worst part is that this is coming primarily from young girls. In the eternal words of Tina Fey in Mean Girls, “You have got to stop calling each other ‘sluts’ and ‘whores’; It just makes it okay for guys to call you ‘sluts’ and ‘whores’.” This is internalized misogyny and it’s just awful to see it in such full force in such young girls. Even though I’m an adult male, I recognize that I’m in the minority in this fandom and it’s mostly the younger female fans who are voicing these slurs.

Please don’t put these guys, or any guy (or any person for that matter) on such a high pedestal that you think no one is worthy of them. I assure you, no one is that good. No one, celebrity or not, is more valuable than any other human being. I could argue that what you’re doing makes the band think less of their fans or that they are uncomfortable with the way you treat their friends/girlfriends/co-workers, but that’s a secondary concern. The real issue here is that you are spreading hate and debasing a fellow person, which is always wrong, no matter what the situation, but especially when their only “mistake” was associating with a famous boy.

Come on, folks. You’re better than that.