So You’ve Been Told About Homestuck ==> Celebrate with Booze!

Happy early 4/13, Homestucks! Last year Tsunderin regaled you with her path to getting Homestuck, and suggested a bunch of great ways to spend tomorrow’s Homestuckiversary (I just made that word up now), and she had some great ideas so I don’t want to step on that. But for our 21-and-over readers, here are some drinks—inspired by the characters and created and tested for deliciousness by yours truly—to get you through your Nic Cage movie marathon!bluh rose lalonde

The John.

The John.

The John Egbert:

  • One shot blueberry vodka
  • One shot green apple vodka
  • Ginger ale

==>Make it a Jane Crocker: Use blue curacao instead of green apple.

==>Make it a Nanna: Use only blueberry vodka. Rim glass with icing sugar.

The Rose Lalonde:

  • One shot triple sec
  • One shot lemon vodka
  • Orange juice

==>Make it a Roxy: Use pink grapefruit juice instead.

==>Make it a Mom: Use equal parts alcohol and grapefruit juice.

The Dave Strider:

  • Two shots cherry vodka
  • Apple juice

==>Make it a Dirk: Add a shot of peach schnapps.

==>Make it a Bro: Drink plain apple juice ironically.

The Jade Harley:

  • One shot pumpkin pie vodka
  • Half and half

==>Make it a Jake English: Add one shot Bailey’s.

==>Make it a Grandpa Harley: Add one shot spiced rum.

The Aradia :D

The Aradia 😀

The Aradia:

  • One shot Goldschlager
  • Cranberry juice

==>Make it a Damara: Add a shot of sake or shochu.

==>Make it a Handmaid: Add a shot of cherry vodka.

The Tavros:

  • Glass with caramel swirl
  • Apple cider
  • One shot caramel vodka

==>Make it a Rufioh: Add a shot of Goldschlager.

==>Make it a Summoner: Add a shot of cherry vodka

The Sollux:

  • Glass drizzled with honey
  • One shot cherry vodka
  • One shot blueberry vodka
  • Apple juice

==>Make it a Mituna: Add a shot of lemon vodka.

==>Make it a Psiionic: Use hard cider instead of apple juice.

The Karkat:

  • One shot lemon vodka
  • Sprite
  • splash of grenadine (for that mutant red color)

==>Make it a Kankri: Substitute red pop for Sprite.

==>Make it a Sufferer: Substitute red pop for Sprite. Add a shot of cherry vodka.

The Nepeta:

  • One shot Bailey’s
  • One shot whipped cream vodka
  • Half’n’half

==>Make it a Meulin: Use vanilla vodka instead.

==>Make it a Disciple: Add a shot of Kahlua.

porrim drink

The Porrim in action.

The Kanaya:

  • Cream soda
  • One shot cherry vodka
  • green food coloring for blood color
  • garnish with maraschino cherry

==>Make it a Porrim: Use hard limeade instead of cream soda. 

==>Make it a Dolorosa: No cherry. Mix with hard limeade instead of cream soda.

The Terezi:

  • One shot green apple vodka
  • One shot blue curacao
  • White grape juice
  • Two maraschino cherries as garnish

==>Make it a Latula: Substitute melon liqueur for green apple vodka.

==>Make it a Redglare: Mix with champagne instead of grape juice.

The Vriska:

  • Half shot vodka
  • Half shot blue curacao
  • Half shot gin
  • Half shot tequila
  • Half shot rum
  • Half shot sours mix
  • Splash of coke

==>Make it an Aranea: Use blueberry vodka.

==>Make it a Mindfang: Use 151 instead of regular rum.

The Equius:

  • Glass with salted rim
  • One shot blue curacao
  • Sprite

==>Make it a Horuss: Add a shot of spiced rum.

==>Make it a Darkleer: Add a splash of Jagermeister. No salt.

The Gamzee:

  • One shot Bacardi 151/other high-proof rum
  • Grape faygo

==>Make it a Kurloz: Use tequila instead. (Carlos Maraca, amirite?)

==>Make it a Highblood: Drop in a shotglass worth of rainbow Nerds candy.

The Eridan:

  • One shot vanilla vodka
  • Purple grape juice

==>Make it a Cronus: Add a shot of whipped cream vodka.

==>Make it a Dualscar: Add a shot of grape vodka.

The Feferi:

  • Glass with crushed SweetTart rim
  • One shot raspberry vodka
  • Berry juice

==>Make it a Meenah: Add a shot of cherry vodka.

==>Make it a Condesce: Add a shot of Goldschlager. Omit candy rim.

Although, you know what, do me a favor and, uh, don’t try all of these tomorrow. And no matter what, remember that Lady Geek Girl and Friends does not condone underage drinking, alcohol poisoning, Lalonde-level alcoholism, or consuming Betty Crocker products with your drinks.

This entry was posted in Homestuck, Internet and tagged , , by Lady Saika. Bookmark the permalink.

About Lady Saika

"We lead frantic lives. Filled with needs and responsibilities, but completely devoid of any actual purpose. I say let’s try to enjoy the simple things. Life should be like a basket of chicken wings: salty, full of fat and vinegar, and surrounded by celery you’ll never actually eat, even when you’re greedily sopping up the last viscous streaks of buffalo sauce from the wax paper with your spit-stained index finger. Yes, that is as life should be, Night Vale."