The Road So Far: “Heaven Can’t Wait” Review

WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, IDJIT!

WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, IDJIT!

In this week’s episode: Dean’s still a fucking liar, Sam doesn’t know what’s going on, Kevin is smarter than everyone, Cas gets a baby, and there are a lot of white guys. You’re watching Supernatural.

Heaven Can't Wait

Okay, I should just say that this episode wasn’t bad. I mean, not really. There is a part of me that is just so bored with this show now that episodes which aren’t bad still seem dull and tiresome. So maybe it’s me, but God, I hated this episode. There was no character growth this episode expect for maybe Cas and Crowley (but I can’t bring myself to care about Crowley since Meg’s death), and this episode barely moved the plot forward at all. It was the worst kind of filler episode, especially since I don’t think it was meant to be a filler episode.

Now, I know some of you really loved this episode because you think it was practically a Destiel AU fanfic, but I didn’t see it. I think any hope that Dean/Cas might become canon has been dashed against the stones recently and now fans are desperately searching for a faint glimmer of hope. To me, this episode came off as trying to show how aggressively heterosexual and totally just bros Dean and Cas are, but hey, who am I to stop the fandom from dreaming. We’ll probably get some great fanfiction out of it, at least, but that doesn’t fix this episode.

tumblr_m08lwhri7j1r7e5fno1_5001So at the beginning of the episode we learn that Kevin has translated the angel tablet into cuneiform, because he’s a beautiful and talented genius who deserves all the love and respect in the world. Kevin and the boys start trying to figure out how to translate the cuneiform into English. Meanwhile, Cas is trying to survive as a human and learns of a case he thinks Dean and Sam might be interested in. Dean uses this opportunity to get out of research and lies to Sam about how Cas is and why he has to leave. Dean, throughout the episode, seems weirdly surprised that Cas is trying to simply survive now that he has… well, nothing.

That was something that really bothered me this whole episode. What did Dean think Cas was going to do? Start hunting monsters, with no money, no transportation, and no way to really even understand humanity? I mean, really, Dean? That’s like kicking a five year old out of the house and expecting them to learn to run and operate their own business now that they are on their own. On top of this, no one, neither Dean nor our random love-interest girl, picks up on the fact that Cas is homeless. Cas didn’t get better at lying or hiding things, so I just have to assume everyone else on the show has dropped an IQ level.

imagesAnyway, Dean and Cas discover that an angel named Ephraim is killing people by basically exploding them. Ephraim senses people’s pain, then frees them of it by killing them. Dean eventually learns the first victims, a married couple, were not both killed like the police originally thought, but the husband became a devoted follower of Reverend Buddy Boyle and let Ephraim possess him. This was another thing that bothered me. The police officer tells Dean that the murdered married couple was having problems, because the wife was an atheist and the husband started following the crazy Reverend Buddy Boyle. So yet again, the religious person is the crazy one and the atheist is the sane one, and apparently differences in religious belief broke up a marriage. Way to go, SupernaturalSupernatural has always been a roller coaster of ups and downs when it comes to portraying religion, but at least I could say that its take on religion was interesting. This whole storyline with Buddy Boyle isn’t interesting at all, and it’s starting to get offensive. I think before, when God’s intentions and motivations were ambiguous even if all the angels were dicks, religious viewers could console themselves that God had a greater plan and purpose for what was going on. At least, that’s how I felt after season five. Despite how problematic Chuck being God was, religion didn’t really get thrown under the bus in previous seasons, especially with Cas seeming to remain faithful despite all the problems he has had.

Now, however, none of our main three characters have any sort of faith or even respect for faith. A theme from recent episodes seems to be that religious people are gullible and stupid for not just believing in God, but also for following any religious organization.

Dean eventually realizes that Ephraim is after Cas and goes to save him. Cas, thinking he was going on a date, actually gets roped into babysitting his coworker’s baby. When Ephraim attacks, Cas thinks he is after the little baby, but instead Ephraim tries to kill him. Predictably, Dean and Cas kill Ephraim and save everyone.

Heaven Can't Wait

Meanwhile, Sam and Kevin try to get Crowley to translate the cuneiform. I don’t know how Crowley knows cuneiform, especially since he isn’t that old of a demon, but what the fuck do I know—maybe there are ancient language courses in hell that all demons are required to take. Anyway, Crowley refuses to help unless he is allowed a phone call to hell. Kevin is the only one who is smart enough to realize Crowley could trick them or be lying to them, but he lets Sam use his blood so that Crowley can call Abbadon. Nothing really interesting happens during this phone call. Basically Abbadon tells Crowley she is steadily destroying everything he did for hell… which we basically already knew. Crowley translates the tablet after this useless phone call and reveals that the angels getting kicked out of heaven is irreversible.

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I just really don’t care about you—at all.

This was really one of the only good things about this episode. Certain problems and consequences can’t be fixed, and that’s just how life is. It’s something TV shows rarely do, but it’s always nice when characters are forced to actually deal with these problems instead of just finding ways to get rid of them. This does, however, make me think that our main conflict this season will not be returning the angels to heaven, but rather fighting Reverend Buddy Boyle and Bartholomew, and much like the Leviathans, I just can’t bring myself to care about them. Maybe Abbadon will just kill everyone and be our main villain next season. That’d be cool.

At the end of the episode, Sam asks Dean what he’s going to tell Cas about the angels. What do you think Dean does? Does he:

A) Tell Cas the truth
B) Tell Cas the truth and then sleep with him to make him feel better
C) Lie to Cas about everything and allow him to go back to his life of loneliness and homelessness

If you answered B—you are reading too much fanfiction. Nope, Dean lies to him, because character growth is stupid. Dean must always lie, Sam must always be manipulated, and Cas must be always treated poorly by those who should help him. Yep.

But wait, that’s not all! Sam also realizes that Crowley injected himself with the remainder of Kevin’s blood. I guess we are supposed to believe Crowley is becoming addicted to human blood like Sam was addicted to demon blood, but I think Crowley is trying to become human enough to get out of all the demon traps the boys stuck him in. Maybe that will backfire on Crowley and his heart will grow three sizes that day, but I can’t bring myself to care about Crowley getting the redemption arc that Meg should have gotten.

Oh, and no one cares about Adam, still.

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