Throwback Thursdays: Star Wars Animated Adventures: Ewoks

I used to love Star Wars Animated Adventures: Ewoks as a child. As a young girl, how could I not have a special place in my heart for the Ewoks? They’re cuddly woodland bear people who play a significant role in the Rebels’ defeat of the Empire during Return of the Jedi. Using nothing more than sticks and rocks, the Ewoks manage to kill both a bunch of Stormtoopers that had superior technology and any viewer’s suspension of disbelief. By the war’s end, the Ewoks also become good friends with our Rebel heroes. Then, they all sit down together at a campfire to cannibalize the Stormtroopers who just died while happy music plays in the background. Of course I adored them.

Look at them. Obviously, they hunger for human flesh.

Look at them. Obviously, they hunger for human flesh.

So when I first encountered Ewoks back in the mid-90s, I fell in love almost immediately. Now, nearly twenty years later, I had forgotten that Ewoks existed. At least that was the case until I saw that Lady Geek Girl owned a copy of it on DVD. And well, much like Saika’s experience in revisiting A Troll in Central Park, I have discovered that some things from my childhood are really not as good as I remember them. There’s no nice way to put this: Ewoks is just bad.

In case you couldn’t tell from the title, Ewoks is about a bunch of Ewoks hanging out on the forest moon of Endor and doing things. Our incredibly bland story is divided into two parts—The Haunted Village and Tales From The Endor Woods—and though I only watched the former, I have no doubt that the latter is just as boring, generic, and tiresome. The Haunted Village has no clear beginning, middle, or ending. Things just happen whenever they happen. The story doesn’t even take the time to introduce us to the characters before jumping right into the main conflict.

Some evil witch-troll person hates the Ewoks—because she’s an evil witch-troll, and that’s what evil witch-troll people do—and sends a giant dragon to go destroy their berry trees, instead of, you know, just destroying the Ewoks directly. Without the berries, which have medicinal properties, many Ewoks might get sick and die. Thankfully, they have bars of magical soap that can turn their berry trees invisible so the dragon can’t find them. The Ewoks set out to hide their trees, but before they can succeed, the narrative decides to introduce another group of antagonists, because I guess a witch and a fucking dragon wasn’t enough.

Also living on the moon are the Duloks. And we can tell the Duloks are evil because they don’t bathe and are often surrounded by bugs.

We can also tell they're evil, because the animators couldn’t be assed to completely animate them.

We can also tell they’re evil, because the animators couldn’t be assed to completely animate them.

The Duloks steal the soap because they want to be clean for once in their lives, and the Ewoks apparently keep all the soap on this Endor moon to themselves for some reason. However, when the Duloks realize this soap turns them invisible, they decide to go play some malicious pranks on the Ewoks to drive them from their home.

The Ewoks manage to get the soap back, besting the Duloks in the process, and finish hiding their berry trees just in time. Our evil witch-troll will not be foiled, though, and she sets out on another course of action to destroy the Ewoks. Seemingly unaware that she could probably just send the dragon to kill all the Ewoks—they only hid their berry trees, not their village—the witch sets out into the woods and captures a fire fairy queen, most likely with plans to burn the whole forest down. Again, because she’s seemingly unaware that she has a dragon that can do that for her. Or that she could just light a fire herself.

I’m also only assuming that she’s planning to burn the forest down, since the Ewoks tell us they’re in the middle of a drought moments beforehand and that things can easily catch on fire, but I don’t know for sure, since this is about the point I stopped watching. This was about twenty-five minutes into The Haunted Village, and I’m not sure how much more time was left on that part, but according to the back of the box, it and Tales From The Endor Woods are about three hours collectively. And that is three hours I’m not willing to give up.

Star Wars Animated Adventures: Ewoks is painful to watch. It has no redeeming qualities, and I would have been surprised that something this horrible was actually put to film if the Star Wars Holiday Special didn’t also exist.

Ewoks is made only worse by some pretty awful voice acting and the fact that it’s impossible to care about anything that’s happening. The characters are all unlikable cardboard cutouts, and one Ewok is no different from another. If I had to guess who the main character is, I would say it’s a young Ewok boy, but he has no wants, interests, or personal goals that you can relate to. And even though I just watched this series ten minutes before writing this, I can’t even remember his name. He could easily be replaced with any other Ewok and the story would lose nothing at all. Furthermore, I’m also not sure what the Star Wars universe at large even gains with Ewoks. Ewoks is about a bunch of characters completely removed from the rest of the universe at large, and so it’s that much harder to care about them. They impact nothing, and the story is simply more or less about a bunch of fuzzy bears doing things while magical fairies and dragons fly around in the background.

Looking back, I’m not even sure what I liked about Ewoks as a kid. When I first watched this, I was living in Italy, and my home in 90s’ Italy was not the best. I didn’t have access to a lot of the things I do now—cable, internet, running water in the middle of the damn day. Most of my entertainment I got from swimming on the beach, and that ocean was fucking frigid. So my draw to Ewoks was probably a mixture of it being part of the Star Wars universe and the fact that I had little else to do for two years. Needless to say, Ewoks is definitely one of those things all of you should skip. The series isn’t even “so bad it’s funny” bad; it’s just bad, and you will gain nothing from watching it.


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About MadameAce

I draw, I write, I paint, and I read. I used to be really into anime and manga until college, where I fell out of a lot of my fandoms to pursue my studies. College was also the time I discovered my asexuality, and I have been fascinated by different sexualities ever since. I grew up in various parts of the world, and I've met my fair share of experiences and cultures along the way. Sure, I'm a bit socially awkward and not the easiest person to get along with, but I do hold great passion for my interests, and I can only hope that the things I have to talk about interest you as well.

3 thoughts on “Throwback Thursdays: Star Wars Animated Adventures: Ewoks

  1. That was my problem with the first season, that Wicket and his friends seemed mature borderline perfect whilst his older brothers, Paploo and Malani seemed to have flaws and provide the comic relief. Other than that the music (on VHS) is beautifully haunting. Logray’s voice is perfect for the role.

    Have you seen the Second Season? You finally get main characters. They’re the same characters as in the original with modifications.

    Wicket is egotistic, wants to become a warrior, gets no respect from the adults, rule breaker, gets into trouble and is the heart throb of the group, attracting Malani, Latara, Kneesaa and has a big crush on Chrita, his brother Weechee’s girlfriend. But he also cares about others. His hood is forest green and he looks older than in the previous season. His also has a different voice actor.
    I think in Season 1, they were younger. In Season 2, they’re either preteens or teenagers. The whole show is about him, but a good solo ep to watch is “Gone with the Mimphs”.

    Kneesaa’s story hasn’t changed except Asha is no longer mentioned, her father has red fur instead off grey, Kneesaa’s fur is light grey not white like before. She wears a necklace, an Ewok device called a grapping hook with some sort of lace rope attached to it. She’s still sweet and acts like the elder of the group but she also breaks the rules. A damsel in distress but she’s a little force sensitive, she can wield the power of the sun star against enemies. Her voice actor is different. She looks the same but I think she was drawn to look older because I think her features are sharper and is generally more striking than her original self which was softer. She’s helped save her village on many occasions. But like Wicket, she gets no respect from the adults. She’s still training to become Chieftess. She’s the quiet, shy sort of Princess who loves animals and nature. If she was a Disney Princess, She’d be Princess Aurora as young girl and Pocahontas as a preteen-teenager. She has four episodes about her – “Three Lessons”, “Asha”, “Party Ewok” and “Baga’s Rival”.

    Teebo is no longer a young adult, he’s the same height as the rest in the group. He is the Ron Weasley of Endor. Both in personality and magic skills. Unlike the first season, it’s him who has a crush on Latara not vice versa. His design is different – yellow, sandy coloured fur and purple hat (purple symbolises magic, religion, etc so that’s good). He also has a different voice actor. He has one episode about himself called “First Apprentice”.

    Latara is no longer the shyest member of the group. She’s a material girl. Selfish, ungrateful, greedy, indulgent, but learns her lesson in end and becomes closer with her friends. She has a crush on Wicket, simply because she likes warriors. Eventually she does return her love for Teebo and she kisses him twice. Her design is different, she wears a blue hat and blue necklace. She’s twice as misievous as before. She has two episodes about herself “Travelling Jindas” and “Princess Latara”.

    I loved the show. Still do. Admittedly though I do cringe sometimes at Kneesaa’s high pitched voice. I dislike that they changed the soundtrack on both Season 2 and the DVD version (which holds four Season 1 episodes combined to make a movie, “Asha” – Season 1 and “The Crystal Cloak” of Season Two). I also dislike what they did to Logray in Season 2. He no longer sounded like a wise, wizard, shaman. Just an old man and his subtle looks got changed to heavy tribal shaman make-up.

    I watched this as a little girl, before I watched the Star Wars movies. Until I watched them, I thought Star Wars was for boys. Imagine my shock when I was told Ewoks were apart of Star Wars! Back then blue was for boys, pink was for girls. I was a pink girl. Kneesaa’s pink hood drew me in and then the stories hooked me.

    • Finally that somebody gets that Teebo was slightly older than others in the first season (closer to Paploo’s age).

      And funny enough, I prefer the first season for many reasons, though the second IS funny.

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