After a weird and kind of frustrating half a season, we’ve finally reached the mid-season finale. And although I got to get Cozy with Posey afterward on Wolf Watch, I don’t know if any number of puppies can me feel better about “Status Asthmaticus”.
Spoilers after the jump.
Last week ended on a dramatic note as Scott refused to give Hayden the bite. This week we realize that it’s not because he’s an asshole; rather, she’s just too weak. It would probably kill her before she could transform. Hayden pleads for her sister, and Scott heads out to find her at the school, where she and Stiles’s dad were responding to a very strange call for backup. Liam is still pissed at Scott, though, and he follows Scott to the school while Melissa and Mason desperately try to save Hayden.
However, going to school is a bad idea, because Theo is there. He traps Scott in the library and reveals that he was both an asshole and a chimera the entire time. Scott desperately tries to escape the mountain ash circle Theo left, but is thwarted when a wolfed-out Liam, extra-powered by the supermoon, shows up to kick the shit out of him for abandoning Hayden. It also doesn’t help matters for Scott that Theo laced his inhaler with wolfsbane. Liam is close to killing Scott when Mason shows up—he tells Liam that Hayden died while he was gone, which takes the wind out of Liam’s murderous sails. Liam leaves Scott and Mason alone, but Theo shows up again and finishes what Liam started, leaving Scott dead on the floor. Melissa does manage to save the day here—she shows up, beyond devastated, and desperately CPRs Scott back to life with her mom magic/nurse skills.
Lydia and Parrish start the episode together, hanging out on opposite sides of a cell door. After being struck with an idea about what sort of beastie Parrish could be, though, Lydia leaves to look something up. She realizes that he’s a hellhound (!), but is cornered and captured by Theo in the school library. He takes her to the creepy Doctor lair and is further abusive to her, claw-probing her brain to find the location of the nemeton, and proving to me once and for all that Jeff Davis is an enormous jackass. Meanwhile, Parrish wolfs (hounds?) out and breaks out of the cell. Stiles sees Parrish and decides to follow him to… wherever he’s going, but is intercepted by Theo, who reveals his asshole cards to Stiles as well. He came to Beacon Hills for a pack, but he wanted a dangerous pack, Void!Stiles and banshees and murderous werecoyotes—Scott was never on the table. Stiles attacks him, but unfortunately fails to kill him.
This is all just part and parcel to the shit day Stiles is having. His Jeep finally crapped out for real, he was cagey and rude to Malia when she tried to reach out to him about Donovan, and on top of things, Melissa found his school library card in the hospital garbage and gave it to his dad. The icing on the awful-ass cake comes at the episode’s end: Stiles finally gets to the school, only to discover the sheriff, bloody and prone on the floor.
Meanwhile, Malia is off on her own, fighting chimeras, when Braeden shows up to help out. It’s a pretty small part of this episode, but I presume this means that the Desert Wolf will be a big focus in the next half of the season. However, she’ll have to share billing with a pack of zombie chimeras, because Theo finds the nemeton and uses some magical deus ex syringe to reanimate all the chimeras who have died so far. They wake up with no memories, and he tells them that they’re his pack now.
I had so many problems with this episode I’m not even sure where to start. How about Lydia, being kidnapped and abused yet again? We know it’s only going to get worse, since she’s destined for Eichen House. (Do the writers even remember that they set up that frame story?) Or perhaps Hayden, who is literally killed off to make Liam sad and then conveniently brought back to life to be a servant to the manipulative asswipe villain? The fact that Kira got written out and immediately forgotten by the narrative?
I was especially pissed throughout the episode by how omnipresent Theo seemed to be. He was in nearly every scene, to the point where it stopped making sense from a logistical point of view. How on earth was he traveling back and forth between all these locations so quickly? First he’s in the forest with Malia, then he’s in the school, and at the police station, and at the Doctor’s lair. Does this asshole have a fucking TARDIS on top of everything else?
After a ton of speculation that Parrish was a phoenix, it’s kind of weird that he turns out to be a hellhound, especially because the connotations behind the creatures (reincarnation, life from death vs bringers of death, harbinger of hell) are so different. I wonder what role he’ll play in the next half of the season, especially since his plot has become so tied with Lydia’s, who’s also got death-related powers.
Finally, I absolutely detest plotlines where the whole conflict revolves around a misunderstanding that could be solved by just talking about it. Part of the reason I stopped watching Supernatural was that, eight seasons in, Sam and Dean were still keeping the same secrets and having the same problems because neither of them could just talk to each other about it. Stiles and Scott don’t seem to have the same problems of toxic masculinity as the Winchesters to keep them from having open conversations, and it also plain doesn’t make sense that either of them would trust Theo over their best friend. Stiles is so worried about their friend group getting estranged that it’s become a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s hard for me to get invested in a character conflict that is so rooted in “being a stubborn idiot”.
Honestly, even though a mid-season finale is supposed to leave you desperate for a time machine to the future, I honestly am relieved to have a break from the show until we start to review it again. I do really love some of the characters, but it’s been a while since I’ve watched the show out of genuine interest and not because I have to know what happens so I can write these reviews. But who knows, maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder. Till January, my fellow wolf watchers!