Fanfiction Fridays: i wouldn’t leave you, i would hold you when the last day comes by tragickenobi

Han Solo and ChewieStar Wars Episode VII comes out next month, and it’s not soon enough. I can hardly contain my excitement, and it should come as no surprise to anyone that I’ve been spending my days googling all things Star Wars and reading up on every fan theory that I can find. So fic and potential movie spoilers are ahead.

Right now, one of the more popular fan theories is that Kylo Ren is actually Jacen Solo, one of Han and Leia’s children. This is a theory that I actually kind of like, a lot. At the same time, Kylo Ren amuses me. He looks like he’s going to be the typical brooding bad boy villain that everyone will love. I suppose his actor’s hot too (I’m not really an expert on that), which just completes this trope for me. As Kylo’s goals are to complete the work that Vader started, I am also fairly convinced that he is the galaxy’s biggest Darth Vader fan boy who may or may not keep a poster of said Sith Lord hanging in his bedroom. As such, thanks to the fan boy-ness and poster-having, I naturally relate to him, and it was to my joy that I learned there’s already fanfiction about my fellow Darth Vader fan.

i wouldn’t leave you, i would hold you when the last day comes is a oneshot story about Luke hunting Kylo Ren down and almost killing him. The fic focuses on Luke’s relationship with Han and discusses whether or not Luke would be justified in ending Kylo’s life. It follows along with the theory that Kylo Ren is Han’s son and that Rey is his sister. As such, both Rey and Leia feature in this story, though not as much as I wished they would. New character Finn even makes an appearance as well. Despite all these new faces, at its core, i wouldn’t leave you is still about the original trio, with emphasis on Han and Luke.

Before Luke can strike the killing blow on Kylo, Han talks him out of it and Luke lets Kylo go. Unfortunately, this has devastating consequences. Our party makes the trek back to their ship, but before they can leave the planet, Kylo shows back up and fatally wounds Luke.

“Safe?” Han called out once Luke had looped back. He stood against the wall of the Falcon, watching with unease at the way he moved.

Luke looked back, nodding. “Think so!”

He sensed nothing. Only Han right there and Rey warming up the controls. The frost crunched under his feet with every shift. Aside from the engine’s low roar it was quiet. Luke nodded his direction again, waiting until he was already on his way back into the ship before then turning back to watch into the trees one last time.

The only warning he had was that of the sound of lightsaber activation. Movement like shadows. The shadow solidified, a hand gripping his shoulder, and a body in front of him. Luke’s own hand was moving quickly to his own saber but it felt like slow motion in a world where everything else was fast as ever.

Then fire. Burning pain. Pain he recognized on a smaller scale. Luke knew his mouth was open but whatever noise or yell had formed lost it’s (sic) momentum before it climbed past his throat. Blindly, he grabbed at whatever was in front of him. He received a fistful of material and cloak.

“Don’t be afraid. It’s over fast.”

Kylo. Luke’s footing broke and he stumbled forward, gasping at the jolt in the burning sensation that spread through his chest. The man’s face was seemingly hard set, skin tinted red where some blood remained. But his eyes read curious. Like he’d never seen someone this close up like this. Maybe that was true; maybe he’d never successfully stabbed a Jedi.

Too precious for this world. Fuck you, Kylo.

Too precious for this world. Fuck you, Kylo.

Luke dying makes the ending to this story horrible, and I was not expecting that. As this was a story that explores Luke’s relationship with both Han and Leia and creates parallels between Kylo and Vader—and specifically calls into question whether or not Kylo is redeemable—I expected an ending that was… less horrible. I didn’t realize how upsetting the possibility of any of our original trio dying was to me until I read this story, and now because of it I’m stuck worrying about potential character deaths in the actual movie.

Nevertheless, i wouldn’t leave you is a good read, and Luke’s thoughts during it are pretty on point. The fic raises some interesting questions on morality and what is right and wrong, and whether or not people can be redeemed, which is something that the original trilogy explored pretty well. So I totally recommend this fic, even if you want to skip its ending and pretend Luke lives. You can check it out here on AO3.

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About MadameAce

I draw, I write, I paint, and I read. I used to be really into anime and manga until college, where I fell out of a lot of my fandoms to pursue my studies. College was also the time I discovered my asexuality, and I have been fascinated by different sexualities ever since. I grew up in various parts of the world, and I've met my fair share of experiences and cultures along the way. Sure, I'm a bit socially awkward and not the easiest person to get along with, but I do hold great passion for my interests, and I can only hope that the things I have to talk about interest you as well.