Here’s the funny thing about Star Trek: for a show about the future, its most beloved installments were made in the distant past. Next Generation has been off the air for twenty years, and most of its run is closer in time to the lo-fi 60’s original than the present day. Yes, J.J. Abrams has been mucking about in the canon lately, but that guy doesn’t get it. It’s all lens flares and space battles, rather than the space-procedural we all loved.
So, how do you fill the gap? Fanfiction? Yes, please. Speculation about a TV reboot? Definitely! But there’s something even better:
Ladies, gentlemen, and the fine folk of all other genders, I give to you: STAR TREK NOVELTY TWITTER.
Wait, is Riker wearing a bathrobe?
We begin with TNG Season 8, @tng_s8. Run by Mike McMahan, this goofy account of a lost 8th season for Next Generation somehow managed to earn Official Parody status, spawning a book deal. McMahan is a professional comedian, with credits on Rick & Morty, South Park, and Axe Cop, but @tng_s8 gave him real celebrity status.
Season 8 is a flawless parody, focusing on the recurring tropes the series threw at each of its characters: Data explores the trivialities of human existence, Riker gets action-hero plots, Picard is a dramatic lead, Worf grumbles, Geordi gets in scrapes, and Wesley is Wesley.
True to the series itself, Troi doesn’t get a whole lot to do that’s worthwhile.
But wait, there’s more! Riker has his own feature now with @RikerGoogling, where the first officer’s bashful attempts to understand the universe come to light.
He humbly seeks out the possibility that being a straight, white, human man might have some baggage, a lesson he was always at the verge of learning in the series.
But apparently, he’s still a little wobbly on the details, as far as being a respectful first officer.
And, of course, he’s not above the occasional conspiracy theory, hard-driving truthseeker that he is.
And the Klingon security officer Worf addresses the crew by e-mail.
Worf brings his dour, businesslike persona to his e-mails, turning adventures in deep space into everyday bureaucracy.
With his own personal bit of security-officer violence.
And of course, the Captain himself, whose retirement appears to be based in grandfatherly platitudes: kindly, but distant.
And still a bit of a nerd.
Oh, yeah, and remember how Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan are bros?
It’s silly, it’s fun, and it lets you revisit these characters and their stories before Abrams gets his hands on them, too.
Season 8. Riker. Worf. Picard. Check ’em out.
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