I dunno about you guys, but a lot of times when I can’t fall asleep, I end up wandering through AO3, hoping to find a fun fic that can make my thoughts stop chasing themselves around my head and settle down. It’s like storytime when you were a kid, except with more porn. Generally this technique works out for me, because I’ll give anything a try at least once, and sometimes this technique doesn’t work out for me, because… I’ll give anything a try at least once. However, even my laissez-faire approach to fanfic consumption took pause when, at three a.m., digging through the bookmarks of someone I’d never heard of before, I found a Supernatural fanfic advertising itself as a Dean/Cas romcom with a good portion of it in all caps. Now, I gave up on SPN a good while ago, but I did ship these two pretty hard back in the day, and well, I missed them. And it was three a.m. So I decided to give it a try. And as it turns out? I’m really glad I did.
Broadway Musical is, frankly, an incredibly hilarious fic which ignores the darker demon-y, apocalypse-y parts of Supernatural in favor of an angelic host whose sole purpose is to get Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle together so that they can create sons who will be the vessels for Michael and Lucifer. However, their best cupids have, for whatever reason, failed at making them fall in love with each other. One thing leads to another, and Castiel finally decides to go down to Earth, take a human host, and figure out what the problem is.
“And who’re you wearing?” Dean’s hand sneaks into his jacket, where Castiel knows he’s hidden the magic demon knife. He’s faintly amused that Dean would try to stab and kill him in a crowded pet bar in France. A sheep bleats from a corner. “Everything I’ve heard about angels, you guys wouldn’t go around possessing poor bastards.”
Castiel glances down at himself curiously. He hasn’t really taken the time to familiarize himself with his vessel; he picked James Novak because he was roughly the same age as Dean, give or take a few years, and was unassuming but (Anael had assured him) fairly attractive by human standards. He chose James Novak, because according to Dean’s soul, James Novak was his “type”.
“Read the Bible,” Castiel suggests. “I’m sure it will be an enlightening experience for you. But no, we cannot possess humans. Angels must ask for permission to enter a vessel. I am currently residing in the body of James Novak, a devout man. He is not dead, merely… in the backseat, so to speak.”
Tell him I said hi.
“He says hello.”
Dean stares at him like he’s trying to work out a particularly difficult puzzle. Castiel doesn’t understand why, because he’s been rather upfront. “Well heya, Jimbo.”
THIS IS GETTING US NOWHERE. Raphael’s irritation and impatience is bearing down on Castiel, threatening to pull him out of his vessel and back to Heaven with the force of his ire. Some other angels agree with him and are pushing to wipe Dean’s memory of Castiel, but others are curious to see how it will turn out. They argue amongst themselves and it gives Castiel a headache.
“So, what?” Castiel forces himself to return his attention to Dean. “I say my hail Mary’s and ring my bell and then I’ve got my own pocket angel to fuck shit up if I need help?”
HE WILL BE MORE OPEN TO INFLUENCE IF HE TRUSTS YOU, Anael says quietly. The rest of the Host pauses their fighting to think about this. BEFRIEND HIM.
WE SHOULD HAVE SENT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THIS, Uriel says, disgruntled. CASTIEL IS TOO OBLIVIOUS TO THE HUMAN CULTURE. HE’LL PUT HIS FOOT IN IT. LET ME GO INSTEAD. I CAN BETTER CHARM HIM TO OUR CAUSE.
Castiel doesn’t feel too insulted because this is largely true.
Balthazar comes to his defense, snapping, SENDING TOO MANY ANGELS DOWN THERE WILL CONFUSE AND OVERWHELM THE WINCHESTER. CASSIE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SMART ENOUGH TO MAKE CONTACT.
BECOME THE FRIEND, CASTIEL, Raphael determines. THEN THE FORNICATION.
“Yes,” Castiel tells Dean with a shrug. “That about covers it.”
This fic has everything I was hoping for in a late-night fic, and shockingly, when I reread it in the morning, it was still just as good. The prose has a very Terry Pratchett-esque feel to it, helped along by a cameo from a certain Good Omens character, and all the dialogue is great. Jimmy Novak, whom most Supernatural fics sadly ignore, is an amazing sassy sidekick and an excellent counterpart to the angels’ useless bickering. For their part, almost every angel and archangel in the show gets a line, and Lucifer himself has one of the single greatest lines of dialogue I’ve ever read in a Dean/Cas fic. If you’ve ever wanted to take a fun look back at Supernatural as a romantic comedy, without all the manpain and the women dying, this is the fic for you.
You can check out Broadway Musical here on the AO3! Please. Do it.