Fanfiction Fridays: this feeling i have towards you by practics

Minor spoilers for Jaehee’s route and after end in Mystic Messenger.

If there's anything Jaehee deserves, it's the world.

If there’s anything Jaehee deserves, it’s the world.

After months of playing, I’ve gotten to a point where I can say I’ve “beaten” Mystic Messenger in its current state. Through secret stories and after ends, I’ve seen the highs and lows of all the characters, cried legitimate tears worrying about these assholes, and stubbornly ignored Cheritz’s canon of 707 being in love with you in every route (because if there’s anything I love, it’s being made to feel guilty when I don’t do a specific route). Through all of this, I’ve come to one very strong conclusion: Jaehee deserves better.

I can’t say that this is a particularly startling revelation. As the only woman in a cast of hot guys—in a dating sim—it’s par for the course that she gets ignored or only briefly mentioned in a portion of fan meta, and her canon relationship with the main character (or, as canon as any other character’s) is seemingly way less popular than non-canon relationships between the male characters. And, well, I would be lying if I said that Cheritz didn’t have their own hands in this. Jaehee’s route, after all, is “Gal Pals: the route”, leaving off an ending that is just ambiguous enough to maybe ignore that it was hella romantic, and in her own damned after ending (the “happy ending” some number of months later) she shows up for only one line at the very end. I and many other fans remain disappointed with this—frankly—bullshit, so today I bring you the gayest of gay Jaehee fic to fill the hole left by Cheritz.

It wasn’t my original intention to look for, or recommend, Jaehee/MC fic today, but after reading practics’s this feeling i have towards you by chance, every other fic recommendation I could have offered paled in comparison. Taking place right after the Day 11 RFA party, practics gives readers a closer look at the blooming relationship between Jaehee and the main character (referred to as MC by fandom) in a tender slowness that mirrors the route itself. The two wake up in Jaehee’s apartment, hand in hand, and begin to think back on the events that led them to this point. MC is completely and blissfully in love with Jaehee, sure of her feelings and ready to move forward together at a pace Jaehee is comfortable with. Jaehee, for her part, appears to be coming to terms with her non-straight feelings for MC, but still is learning how to live a life free of the micromanaging and second guessing that ruled her previous job and lifestyle.

You are not alone. It was all real, and an electrifying feeling of sheer daring is challenging you to believe that maybe that all means something, and something good. It might be just a feeling but maybe she did have fun, she did have opportunities, but she is here with you because she actually wanted to be. For once you feel like you had an immense amount of fun without letting anyone hurt, especially yourself. Maybe this is the headiness that inspired you to take the mic and interrupt every conversation at the party to call out for her in front of everyone, including Mr. Han. You still can’t think that that was the wrong decision, no matter what.

So maybe it would be okay to assume that not everything was disastrous. So maybe you didn’t execute the literal script you had prepared for yourself just in case before the party. Well, maybe you are a bit nervous about the unscripted parts, but somehow, you feel like things are going to be all right. It’s not wrong to leave things to uncertainty. Not every variable needs to be controlled, because not all of them can be now, and that is how it should be.

Your criticisms, your insights, all the little things you’d learned to repress so well had come forth from some deep wellspring of something a little like resentment. And it was all okay with her. You’d thought the brief and harsh training to become Chief Assistant had thoroughly drilled out what little ability to speak your own mind that living alone had granted you, finishing a job that had started long ago in a house that was never home. But not only did this girl agree with the things you had to say, she had encouraged you. Not for the benefit of C&R, and certainly not just for herself… Cheering you up and on, and telling you the things you don’t dare even think to yourself… Parts of you you thought were ugly feel less grotesque in her light.

It’s still a work in progress, but you can practically feel yourself changing every day, even without the commentary from the rest of RFA. Even if she disagreed, you didn’t think you would be worried.

mystic-messenger-jaehee-movie-cgYet amidst the potential worries and problems that may arise between the characters, they’re both still huge nerds. Jaehee and MC giggle to each other and live an incredibly sweet domestic life together which absolutely includes dramatically singing songs from their mutual friend Zen’s musicals. This is the kind of after ending I wanted from Cheritz!

this feeling i have towards you is very early on in its fic life, so currently sitting at around 5.5k words it won’t take too long to get through. However, practics seems extremely determined to continue on with their work, so I don’t live in fear of this fic being abandoned any time soon. If you’re looking to experience part of what Cheritz has yet to give their audience, or just an extremely adorable fluff piece, look no further than this fic here at AO3! Also, if this strikes your fancy, make sure to check out practics’s one-off Unwind for more Jaehee/MC goodness!


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