Fanfiction Fridays: The Chilling Crimes of Chinchilla Chick by Traincat

Squirrel Girl! @unbeatablesg
WHO EATS NUTS KICKS BUTTS AND JUST KISSED THE RADDEST ROOMMATE EVER idk but i bet she’s super cool and finished all her homework

Squirrel Girl! @unbeatablesg
LIKE A CHAMP #eatsnutskicksbutts #andassignments

Nancy W @sewwiththeflo
So glad Mew approves of my new relationship. That would’ve been awkward. #neithersinglenorreadytomingle

Squirrel Girl! @unbeatablesg
@sewwiththeflo Hahaha but it would’ve worked out anyway right Nancy

Squirrel Girl! @unbeatablesg
@sewwiththeflo Nancy?

Squirrel Girl! @unbeatablesg
@sewwiththeflo NANCY

Squirrel Girl! @unbeatablesg
@starkmantony aw you ol’ softie you! thanks for the edible arrangement!

Tony Stark @starkmantony
@unbeatablesg Don’t mention it. Really.

Squirrel Girl! @unbeatablesg
@starkmantony could’ve used more nuts, though

Tony Stark @starkmantony
@unbeatablesg What did I just say?

The first time Nancy kissed Doreen she tasted like acorn buttercream and New York City grit. Nancy had never thought of that as a winning combination, but somehow Doreen made it work. She also dipped Nancy, because Doreen kissed like she did everything else: with 300% enthusiasm and like she’d learned it off a pack of trading cards written by a maniac in a full-face mask.

The Chilling Crimes of Chinchilla Chick may not be an actual canonical Unbeatable Squirrel Girl comic, but it’s pretty much the next best thing. Actually, it’s got femslash, so it’s inherently better. Let’s do this.

From my distant Good Omens fandom days to my more recent Homestuck fandom days, I’ve always been a huge fan of fanfics that use the sometimes challenging storytelling style of the original work to tell their own stories. For Good Omens, this was the ubiquitous and comical footnotes; for Homestuck, it was… everything happening so much. And while this week’s particular fanfic isn’t actually illustrated, from the moment I started reading, I was hooked, because the story itself is told in the same format as a USG comic. First, a Twitter-themed recap conversation that invariably brings in Iron Man somehow. Second, the main story, featuring Doreen doing something absolutely ridiculous and spontaneous with unmatched determination and optimism. Third: occasional authorial asides in small text below the pages (or in this case, scenes/chapters). All of this comes together to perfectly capture the feeling of the comic, but with 100% more delightful wlw content.

An added bonus is that this story is told from the POV not of Squirrel Girl herself, but of her roommate and (in this story) girlfriend, Nancy Whitehead. Nancy is a delightful human who has no canonical powers to speak of, although she (unlike me) can finish writing a fanfic, so idk, that sounds like a superpower. Nancy is also rather more level-headed than Doreen or any of their other animal-themed superhero friends. So when she’s kidnapped by yet another ludicrously-named animal-person, Chinchilla Chick, she mostly sits and wishes she could play Neko Atsume on her phone while waiting for Squirrel Girl, Koi Boi, and Chipmunk Hunk (I kid you not, those are their names) to show up to rescue her.

Nancy has a brand, and that brand is cats. (via shesgotbooksonhermind)

A fight, a rescue, a chase, and a totally Unbeatable Squirrel Girl conclusion later, I’m up to my neck in happy Squirrel Girl feels. The Chilling Crimes of Chinchilla Chick is complete at around 2,700 words, and is just an incredibly delightful read. I highly recommend you check it out here at the AO3.

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