Asexual Awareness Week: Two YA Novels with Complex, Geeky, Lovable Demi Protagonists

Images from Goodreads

It’s Asexual Awareness Week, which means that though I’d do it any time of the year, it’s the optimal time of the year to recommend and gather recommendations of media with asexual protagonists. Today I want to talk about two brilliant geeky YA novels with main characters that are not only relatable, complicated, and funny, but sit on a perhaps lesser-known place on the asexual spectrum: these are two characters who are confirmed as demisexual.

Demisexuality is when you only begin to feel sexually attracted to people once you form a strong emotional bond with them. The most common misconceptions about it tend to be that the demi in question is just “picky” and chooses to get to know people first, or that they’re no longer, or never really were, asexual at all once they find someone they like enough to be attracted to. As with the many grey areas along the ace spectrum, it can be a tricky thing to both explain to people and define for yourself, especially given how society so easily conflates romantic, aesthetic, and sexual attraction all together as one big amorphous thing when they’re really separate and very different feelings—and, as always, different for every individual person!

I know that I’m somewhere under the ace umbrella, but finding an exact word to define my unique, personal scenario has kind of felt like I’m a sleep-deprived detective staring at a conspiracy board trying to link evidence together with bits of string. While I’m still bumbling along trying to figure myself out, it was immensely rewarding and heartwarming to read these two books where characters (who are younger than me, mind you) get to not only find happiness in their ace identities and have fulfilling relationships, but get to be the stars of moving and engaging stories.

Web Crush Wednesdays: Heartless, a Promising New Webcomic

I always mean to read more webcomics, but I’m often daunted by long-running stories which I never manage to catch up with. I’m also always on the lookout for representation of different LGBTQ+ identities, especially those which are most often forgotten, such as asexuality. Enter this week’s Web Crush: Heartless, a promising and adorable webcomic about vampires in Victorian London. It’s only a couple chapters in so far, but the premise is intriguing and the art is cute.

Spoilers for the first two chapters of the webcomic below.

Lady Geek Girl & Friends’ Best of the Blog Saturdays

We’re still on hiatus until January 6^th. Happy New Year, everyone, and we’ll be back soon!

Sexualized Saturdays: A Genderqueer Take on Slash Fanfiction. Pan reflects on their experience with slash fanfiction.

As a genderqueer person I’m fairly certain that my own experience with slash fanfiction differs somewhat from the norm. Only recently have I begun reflecting on how formative both writing and reading fanfiction was at a time in my life when I felt isolated and frustrated by my own seemingly incongruous feelings. Knowing now that there are a surprising number of people for whom the gender binary doesn’t hold true, I like to think that for some small portion of the fan community fanfiction has been an important tool for self-discovery, as it was for me.

Sexualized Saturdays: Teen Wolf and the Turmoils of Male Puberty. Pisces talks about how the cis male werewolf experience is analogous to the cis male puberty experience.

Lycanthropy also serves as a metaphor for the inherent state of physical transition and transformation that is a defining part of puberty. For most able-bodied, non-chronically ill people, puberty is the first time we actively feel out of control of our bodies (potty training notwithstanding). The changes are sudden, violent, bizarre; simple changes in height are nothing compared to the fundamental, irreversible changes to the character and nature of our bodies that happen during puberty. It’s rooted in the same basis that makes all body horror so terrifying—the involuntary changing of and lack of control over the body.

Fanfiction Fridays: The Ace Thing by NoBrandHero

GT: if i marry him won’t that make me your stepdad??
TG: …….
TG: youre planning on marrying my bro
GT: i don’t fucking know!!
GT: we’re dating, so it’s kind of a possibility????
TG: is he aware youre already thinking about marriage
GT: dude, shut up!
TG: nah man i think we need to get our calendars out and see about booking a minister
TG: ill draw up the invitations
TG: sweet bro and hella jeff cordially invite you to the unholy union of egbert and strider
GT: auuuugh no i don’t want to be my best friend’s stepdad!!!!!!
TG: think the word youre really lookin for here is stepbro
GT: you’re in so much denial holy shit. no wonder rose psychologically dissects you all the time.

—The Ace Thing, Chapter Six

It’s been 84 years…

After a year-long hiatus, the unorthodox webcomic Homestuck has resumed to its semi-erratic updating schedule. Although I’m definitely not as into the series as I used to be, I’m super excited to see how the series ends—ie: hopefully without all the characters dying—and more than willing to celebrate its triumphant site-breaking return with a fic recommendation. In light of this and in light of Asexual Awareness Week, today’s fic delves not only back into the Homestuck universe, but also focuses solely on a perfectly healthy relationship between a character that is asexual and a character who is, self-admittedly, not asexual at all.

Fanfiction Fridays: Asexuality and Dragon Age

Bioware recently released another trailed for their upcoming Dragon Age: Inquisition game. Since they pushed its release date back a month—and hopefully will remain only a month—I am really hurting for things to fill the void in the meantime. Of course, I could just play the games again for what would most likely literally be the thirtieth time for either, but why do that when I can turn to the world of fanfiction?

Spoilers: I will definitely end up playing the game again.

Fanfiction Fridays: Speak until the dust settles in the place light refused to go by fifthnorthumberland

In my experience, it is difficult to find a good fanfic with an asexual character. Usually the fic either reads like a “very special episode” on asexuality, or just generally portrays asexuality horribly.

One of my major pet peeves with fanfics featuring asexual characters is that the entire fanfic ends up being entirely about the character’s asexuality. There’s no other plot, motive, or storyline; it’s just about “dealing” with asexuality. What I mean by this is that usually the asexual character is in a relationship, and a large majority of the fanfic deals with the sexual partner dealing with and trying to understand their asexual partner. And while a few plots like that are all well and good, when it’s overused it starts to become very similar to TV shows like Glee and many others that make homosexuality a character’s key personality trait and their entire plotline.

Another thing that sometimes bothers me is the lack of fanfic with a female asexual character. To be fair, the lack of female characters is a problem in our media in general and thus is naturally a problem in fanfiction.

So for my Asexy April fanfic I chose a fic with a female asexual character where the story doesn’t focus entirely on her sexuality: Speak until the dust settles in the place light refused to go, an excellent little Teen Wolf fic featuring an asexual Kira!

Fanfiction Fridays: There is Always Time for Pai Sho by Etienne_Bessette

“You work too hard, my nephew,” Iroh rumbles behind him, and Zuko can smell the lingering rich scent of the roasted duck he’d had for dinner, and he can hear the polished clack of pai sho tiles rolling between Iroh’s fingers. “Come with us,” he says. “It is so rare that we stay at port overnight; you should not miss this opportunity.”

“I’m fine, Uncle,” Zuko says, and snaps into the next form of the firebending set he’s been practicing for the past week. “And I don’t have time for breaks. The Avatar has had decades to train.”

Iroh sighs, as he always does when they argue like this. “Zuko, an evening spent on shore will not hurt you. Who knows? The rest could do you good! Leave you refreshed and stronger!”

“Or out of practice. I’m staying here,” Zuko snaps, and then curses, because he’s lost his concentration. His foot has slipped and slid over the treacherous deck too far out, like a soldier breaking rank—isolated, unbalanced, and vulnerable. Zuko snarls and stalks five paces back to his starting point. He tries again from the beginning.

There is no sound from Iroh, and when Zuko next looks, he is gone.

In the interests of continuing to celebrate Asexy April, this week I’ve found an Avatar: The Last Airbender fic that was written for Asexuality Awareness Week back in 2011 for all of you.

Their relationship in one image.

The Prince Zuko we meet at the beginning of the show is a tense, overstressed teenager with more daddy issues than Tony Stark and fewer healthy outlets—which is saying something—and that’s the Zuko author Etienne_Bessette has captured for us. The story begins with Uncle Iroh interrupting one of Zuko’s intense training sessions. Zuko takes it the wrong way when Iroh suggests his temper might be improved by some “pleasant company”.

Fanfiction Fridays: love is for children and other lies by Fahye

Asking certain types of questions is encouraged. It’s the start of a lifetime spent gathering information one way or another. So Natalia’s starting point for this mission is the same as any other: gather adequate data. She likes her intelligence firsthand, like any well-trained spy. Clean. As far as possible, unsullied by agenda or ego. The trust that webbed itself between the Black Widow girls as a survival mechanism is being teased apart, as they grow older and more aware of their roles, but she’s not in direct competition with anyone here. Natalia sits in a crosslegged circle of teenagers swapping stories about sex; they could be normal girls, anywhere in the world.

Question: is it enjoyable?

The consensus is: yes. Mostly. And they touch their throats and smile at the absurdity of it, these girls, at the sounds and the stickiness and the potential for sheer awkwardness. Natalia ventures, leaning back on her hands, that it doesn’t sound all that fun.

“Have a go with yourself,” Anna says, to a general wave of squirming and laughter.

—from love is for children and other lies, by Fahye

April is Asexy April in fandom; much like Femslash February, which celebrated works with female/female pairings, this month’s goal is to celebrate and educate all and sundry on asexuality-related matters through fanfiction. Today’s fic is from 2012, but it’s a great example of what this month could be.

love is for children and other lies spans Natasha’s life from when she was first recruited into the Black Widow program until a little after the events of The Avengers. Author Fahye doesn’t draw from any particular comics canon, instead choosing to construct their own backstory for Natasha through what we know of her from her MCU appearances. I may be biased, but Fahye does a great job. What a backstory this is—it’s so emotional and so real that I almost want Marvel to keep their vague Black Widow movie promises to themselves, because I’ve already got my Black Widow headcanon right here.

Many times when a fanfic author writes a fic with an asexual character, the fic ends up intentionally or unintentionally sounding like an after-school special or an Asexuality 101 class. This fic never does, though. While Natasha is very aware of her asexuality, the author makes sure to emphasize that it isn’t “caused” by Natasha’s Black Widow training and no characters ever remark on how “wrong” it is or tries to “fix” her. Natasha’s asexuality is simply an intrinsic part of her, and it only adds to Natasha’s fantastically three-dimensional character. And while subtle, the fic also refutes various misbegotten ideas about asexual people: Natasha may not feel sexual attraction, but she can and does still form intimate bonds, albeit of a different nature, with her closest partners and friends.

At 30k, love is for children and other lies will take a good chunk out of your day, but it’s so worth it to finally see a fic with an asexual character that isn’t just about that character dealing with their asexuality or a couple learning to “deal” with one partner’s asexuality. Natasha is never reduced to her asexuality, and for that alone, you should read this fic.

Sexualized Saturdays: Derek Hale

Teen Wolf Season 3B is almost here and I said I would address the possibility of Sterek happening before the premiere. I have already discussed Stiles’s sexuality, so now let’s take a look at Derek.

I mentioned with Stiles that one of the reasons I love his character is that the question about Stiles’s sexuality is out in the open, where with most other characters and pairings there is nothing but subtext. Stiles’s questions about whether gay guys are attracted to him and his flirtations with Danny, while not explicit, set up the potential for a natural build to Stiles being revealed to be bisexual. Most other characters, in contrast, have some queer subtext, but it’s mostly used to queerbait fans of the show. With Sterek, there seems to be nothing but subtext, but I don’t see this as a huge loss. I fully support Derek and Stiles not being a couple as long as I still get a bisexual Stiles. But if Sterek doesn’t happen, does that mean there really is no hope for a queer Derek? Well… not necessarily.

Sexualized Saturdays: Asexuality in Fiction and Fanfiction

I have to admit that before writing this post, I had never purposefully sought out fanfiction involving asexuality, if only because I was too scared to. I’m not trying to say that I think all ace fanfiction would be terrible or poorly written—one of my favorite fics stars an ace character—but I’ve had a lot of bad experience with stories that have unfortunately made me a little terrified to see how other people interpret my sexuality. As such, I generally get my fanfiction kicks from reading stories that simply have no pairings, or no overt romance and sexual tension, as I more or less know what to expect from them.

Though I know there has to be plenty of well-written stories involving ace characters, there are also plenty of bad ones, and I sometimes feel as if this lack of quality comes from not only certain misunderstandings about asexuality, but also from how the original source material and writers treat asexuality.