Resident Evil: Retribution

Before I get into this, I just want to say I love the cover poster for this movie. “Evil Goes Global.” Right. Because it wasn’t global before or anything. Oh, wait… No…

I know this review is really late, considering that the movie’s been out for a few weeks now, and this isn’t out of laziness on my part. I honestly didn’t notice when it was first released, and I daresay that I could have spent the rest of my life not knowing what happened and missed out on nothing. But this movie has managed to present me with a valuable question.

It’s no secret that the Resident Evil movies suck. I think we all know that. Even if you like them, which I do, it doesn’t make them good movies. The amount of inconsistencies and badness just keep piling and piling on top of each other, until all you’re left with is a giant, convoluted mess, the plot of which your brain can barely keep up with. It is my personal belief that Paul W. S. Anderson knows this too, but we’re already five movies into the series, and it’s kind of too late to fix stuff now. As a result, I think Anderson just decided to make the movie as over the top as possible, so that at the very least it can be enjoyable.

So here’s my question: can I hate a movie for failing so hard when it clearly isn’t even trying?

Well, okay, yes, I can. I can totally hate it for wasting valuable money to go see it. But do I hate this movie?

Well… yes.

That doesn’t mean I won’t be buying it when it comes out, though.

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