Generation Avex: G-Dragon’s Crooked

Today I had two clear choices when picking a song: G-Dragon’s newest hit to climb the charts, or the recent installment from the steamy, depressing, and gritty duo Troublemaker, staring B2ST’s Hyunseung and 4Minute’s Hyuna. Of course, I had to go with the artist(s) I was more invested in.

As much as I love the idea behind Troublemaker, their newest song Now is kind of boring. Besides, GD and I already have a relationship going on. After slamming GD hard in One of a Kind for being weird in all the wrong ways, how could I resist the chance to rip apart this toned down version in Crooked? Except, damn it, I want to, but I can’t. I love Crooked. I love it so much. Crooked’s the perfect anthem for angry teenagers that think a break-up is the end of the world—in other words, ridiculous. Right up my alley.

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Generation Avex: G Dragon’s ‘One of a Kind’

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

I hate this video. I hate it to the extent that the video literally makes me ill. I didn’t think it was possible, but G Dragon looks horrible in every single scene. Every. Single. One. I think it’s the Sailor Moon blond hair—whoever said that was a good idea needs to stop giving fashion advice.  Beyond that, though, there is nothing attractive in this video. The girls don’t look attractive. The other boys don’t look attractive. The set doesn’t look attractive. Hell, it seems to me they just put a bunch of stereotypical rap things in the video and made it all black because obviously that’s the most ‘hardcore’ of all the colors. It’s uninspired and none of them look like they’re having fun except those two kids in the beginning and maybe GD in a couple of scenes (I’ll admit, the tennis scene looks pretty fun).

Music-wise, this song is…passable. It’s much more palatable than anything else we’re presented and I could bob my head to it. That’s it, however. At least with Monsteranother Big Bang song that I was a little undecided on —there was a catchy hook. This song doesn’t have that. The music isn’t even particularly catchy as it mostly sounds like drum beats synched to the techno apocalypse.  There’s nothing memorable in the lyrics either.

This is already my second album, I won’t rob an empty house
My rap is what makes the ladies come to the bedroom — Yeah, I’m busy
Money flower blooms on my business
I won’t rest, my song makes everyone cry

Yeah, that’s not exactly compelling. The song that this most reminds me of is Gwen Stefani’s Yummy because they’re both that “wow, I have a second solo album, I’m amazing and you love my conceitedness” kind of song. Except Gwen’s song has a hook. Mianhe, GD.

This won’t come as any surprise, but this song gets a 1 out of 5 shattered glass wardrobes. It’s annoying. Not even catchy-annoying, just a “why do you exist” or “who thought this was a good idea” annoying. GD, baby, I love you but please don’t try to act like TOP (even he’s having trouble pulling this kind of thing off) and go back to your cute club songs. Please.

Generation Avex: Big Bang’s ‘Monster’

It seems that an activity that most of my friends and I share is critiquing and something that I find sorely lacking on this blog are critiques on music. I’ve been thinking about writing some short song reviews for a while (even though I could probably write a novel on ‘Bodies’ by CeeLo Green), but it was finally due to a conversation that I had with my friends from my Korean class that I finally decided to finally do it. Thus, ‘Generation Avex’ was born (named for the Japanese music label ‘Avex Group’). So without further ado, let’s take a look at ‘Monster’ by the indisputable princes of Kpop, Big Bang.

Perhaps in an effort to look like ‘serious artists’ or to further separate themselves from their female pop counterparts, the videos for these boy bands in Korea have become increasingly more apocalyptic in tone and monochrome. This can make for some striking visuals and fashions but I can’t be the only one getting bored of this approach. There are more ways to be exciting than putting in a couple explosions. There are more options for wardrobe than black leather pants/jackets. And god, G Dragon just encapsulates everything I hate about their designer. Him and TOP have partly segmented themselves from the group—having formed a rather adorable bromance (or at least from the perspective from someone that doesn’t follow the gossip blogs)—and it’s glaringly obvious here as neither of them look monster-y, but instead go for the ‘mysteriously handsome’ or ‘bad cosplay’.  The dancing is nice when they perform, but I just got so terribly bored watching this video. What I can give it credit for is not being a zombie influenced plotline (I’M JUDGING YOU, LMFAO).

As far as the music goes, I think the chorus is really catchy. In fact, it’s the chorus that actually made me like the song. I love TOP, but having him sing a few lyrics in the beginning wasn’t a smart move: he just can’t sing very well. But with the creepy vibes of the lyrics, I’m not sure I’d want them singing it too well. Let’s take a look at the chorus first (since it houses the only English lyrics in the song making it easy for y’all to follow).

I love you baby I’m not a monster

You know how I was in the past

When time passes, it’ll all disappear

Then you will know baby

I need you baby I’m not a monster

You know me so don’t leave like this

If even you throw me away, I will die

I’m not a monster

This comes off at first as the regular love song “I need you, I love you” kind of stuff, but looking a (translated) lyric earlier, there’s a different image painted in my mind, at least.

Nothing comes to my mind

As you tremble, you take a step, two steps back

You say that I scare you now

You’re like a moon that makes me go crazy

Maybe there’s a good reason she’s backing up there, man. If you say you go crazy around her and she says she’s afraid of you, I think you need to back off before the police get involved. This feeling doesn’t really get alleviated as the song goes on, unfortunately.

Due to this and the hideously boring, unappealing video, this song will get 3 bi-colored cookies out of 5. Comparable to those sugar cookies with nasty sprinkles on them, but the cookie is still soft so it doesn’t really matter.

If you have an idea for a song I should look at (it doesn’t have to be k-pop)or just one you like in general, leave a comment here!