When people ask me “If you were a superhero, what superpower would you have?”, I have always answered that I would have magical powers. Usually after this response people claim I’ve cheated, but there are tons of magical superheroes, from Zatanna to Dr. Strange. Not only do these characters have an array of powers that make them extremely formidable, but they are also something of a mystery to their more science-minded brethren. The recent plethora of comic book movies have attempted to mostly eliminate the more magical elements of various comic books universes—I suppose to keep things more realistic. However, magic has always added an element of mystery to the comic book universe.
Some movies just don’t seem to care about anything. They just drone on and on, and they don’t stop going until they’ve effectively wasted two hours of their viewers’ lives. This movie is so bad that mustering the amount of energy it would take to laugh at it properly seems like an impossible endeavor, especially when trying to fight off sleep. And don’t get me wrong. It might seem like I’m suggesting that this movie is at least good for a decent nap, but it’s not. It never will be. As a bad movie, it can’t even say that, because it’s so loud during the action sequences. And action sequences should be exciting, but I found myself not involved in any of it.
Furthermore, I just left the theater feeling utterly confused. I can’t tell if this is supposed to be a sequel or a complete remake. If it’s a sequel, I don’t think anyone cared to look back on the first one to remember what happened. So I’m going to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and say that this is a standalone movie.
Which then makes me ask: why the hell did they get Nicolas Cage back for the role? Could they not find a better actor?