The International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy & Why It’s Kind of Bullshit

When you are as obsessed with Harry Potter as I am, you start to notice some of the overarching worldbuilding issues that affect the characters you love so much. One big issue is definitely the Statue of Secrecy, which has been the cause of a lot of conflict in the Harry Potter universe. The Statute of Secrecy makes it so that all wizards have to hide themselves and their magic from Muggles. However, there are a lot of problems with this, and Grindelwald certainly seemed to have a point about the Statue of Secrecy at the end of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. In the video below, Grindelwald (still disguised as Graves) states that the Statute of Secrecy is a law that “has us scuttling like rats in the gutter, a law that demands we conceal our true nature, a law that directs those under its dominion to cower in fear lest we risk discovery. I ask you, Madame President, I ask all of you, who does this law protect, us or them?”

Grindelwald’s words seem to ring with a terrifying truth in that moment after the death of Credence, a charge that none of the other wizards present truly seems to be able to answer. Granted, Grindelwald’s plans to take over the world and enslave Muggles are neither good nor reasonable, but I can certainly see why he seemed to draw a larger following than someone like Voldemort. The Statute of Secrecy makes it so that wizards really can’t do much to help Muggles or even help themselves. It definitely causes issues with the worldbuilding in the series as well, and it would be beneficial to have a character who could better show the complexity of this issue.

Throwback Thursdays: The Great Muppet Caper

(via muppet wikia)

The Great Muppet Caper is probably one of my favorite Muppet movies. I mean, it’s hard for me to actually dislike any Muppet movie, but still, this is one of the better ones. This movie came out in 1981 and is a mystery musical comedy. Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo are reporters for a newspaper called the Daily Chronicle who are investigating a robbery committed against prominent London fashion designer Lady Holiday. This eventually leads them on a wild adventure to prove Miss Piggy innocent when she is accused of stealing Lady Holiday’s jewels. I discovered the movie was available on Amazon Prime and was excited to watch an old classic, but while it was as hilarious as I remembered, some things in the movie sadly didn’t age so well.

Throwback Thursdays: The Other, Other Terrible Fantastic Four Movie

Having seen two out of the three abysmally bad Fantastic Four movies already, I figured that by now I was probably jaded enough to tackle the original 1994 version without risking my sanity. After all, the 2015 version was absolute rock bottom: so bad that it derailed before looping back around to “hilariously bad” and ended up in a fiery heap somewhere between terrifying and boring. Much to my relief, while the 1994 version is indisputably terrible, it’s the sort of terrible you can watch in relative comfort and have a giggle at. Some charming aspects are that it’s mercifully short, comically overblown, and features (genuinely) the best movie version of Dr. Doom we have. Some terrible aspects are that it feels like a high school kid did the final editing, it treats women like garbage, and while it’s technically fairly accurate to the comics, it chose specifically the worst faults of the comics to stay faithful to.

Star Trek Beyond: The Trekkening

Hello, dear readers. It feels strange to be back in the driver’s (poster’s?) seat after a month away, but I am glad that the reason for my return is Star Trek Beyond.

#aesthetic

Despite its flaws, I dearly loved the first Star Trek reboot film. It wasn’t particularly Star Trek-y, and it was full of weird nonsense science, but it had heart. Then they made Star Trek Into Darkness, which, well… the nicest thing I can say about that was they could only go up from there. (I actually had to go back and reread reviews of STID to remember what happened besides like, sexist racist garbage.) The first trailer for Star Trek Beyond didn’t really reassure me that the people behind the movie knew anything about the franchise, but I figured maybe it would at least be a return to the original: a space action movie that accidentally had Star Trek characters as its cast. Instead I am delighted to report that the actual movie was probably the Star Trek-iest thing Hollywood has gotten close to in quite some time.

Major spoilers for Star Trek Beyond after the jump.

Pan Reviews: Ghostbusters! (The One with the Ladies)

The release of the Ghostbusters reboot has proven to be a fascinating experience. Even as someone who tends to be a little hard on hyped-up new releases, I felt that the movie itself was a lot of fun and pretty well put together, but the public response to it has been widely negative. Internet hearsay the day of the release told me I shouldn’t even bother seeing it, and interestingly, the scores for it on user-generated sites like IMDb have been significantly lower than the critic-generated reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Unfortunately, it seems to me that this negative response is more the result of our current social climate than the actual quality of the film. The first point working against it is that it’s a reboot of a hugely popular cult film, which puts it in the position of being compared to the nostalgia-elevated, very-original-for-its-time, pre-CGI original. The second reason it’s getting negative response is that (wait for it, cause I’m gonna say it) all the main characters are women and the only male characters are dumb or need saving or both. Yeah, everybody, I went there, I called the internet sexist. I’m sure this totally unknown and unforeseeable piece of information completely blew your mind.

Spoilers below the cut!

Magical Mondays: The Little Mermaid & Magic

The Little Mermaid isn’t exactly one of my favorite movies. It has great music, but the story and characters are really lacking in a lot of places. It was only during a recent rewatch of the movie that I realized that the magic in the movie is really unclear and ultimately ends up making the whole movie confusing.

Trailer Tuesdays: Deadpool

Do I really need to talk about how awesome and in character everything in this trailer is? Probably not, but I am going to anyway! And admittedly, while I am extremely excited for this movie I am still a little worried about one thing in particular.

Throwback Thursdays: World’s Finest

Not long ago, a teaser trailer came out for DC’s new Batman vs. Superman movie. Ever since the title was announced, I have been nervous about the upcoming movie. I have a lot of feelings about Superman and Batman (both together and separately) and I have been waiting a long time for a team up movie to hit the big screen. But when I heard the title of the movie, I was extremely sad. I’m not going to see a Batman and Superman movie based purely on them fighting each other (we all know Superman wins that fight anyway).

Prepare yourself for the shit storm of Batman vs. Superman nerd fighting that will soon arrive.

No, what I really want to see in this new movie is the complex, somewhat antagonistic relationship between Batman and Superman, which eventually morphs into an epic friendship. So today for our Throwback, I want to take a look at the Batman and Superman movie that greatly shaped my perception of the two characters. The World’s Finest originally aired as as a three part episode on the Superman Animated Series in 1997, and was later re-released as a movie. Until this point there had been little to no cross-over between the Superman Animated Series and the Batman Animated Series, other than a one off comment about Batman at the start of the Superman Animated Series. So this movie was the first meeting between Batman and Superman in the animated universe. And the movie just really hit it out of the park.

Mediocre! Why You Should Not Bother with the Mad Max: Fury Road Comics

Like pretty much everyone else on the planet, I have been obsessed with Mad Max: Fury Road for the last few months. I’ve seen it three times so far, and since the original Mad Max film was pretty underwhelming by comparison, I’ve been digging about the internet for fuel to feed the fire of my obsession. Naturally, I was pumped to learn that Vertigo is publishing a series of tie-in comics, so I rode forth to purchase them last week with a furious fixation. Unfortunately, much like the four puny cylinders in my orange Honda Element, the Mad Max: Fury Road comics felt wildly inadequate compared to my newly elevated expectations.

At least they made the queen look good.

Friendship is… Unnerving? A My Little Pony: Rainbow Rocks Review

The holidays this year have been hectic, but I got to spend some quality time with my family. To my delight, my little sister’s favorite way of passing the time was to watch My Little Pony: Rainbow Rocks. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy MLP:FiM as much as the next Pegasister, but the films are known to be disastrous for a reason. Regardless, I had hope for the movie already knowing the prequel shorts Hasbro released on YouTube were pretty good.

For better or worse, this movie does try to have more of a plot than the first film. There aren’t as many tropes, but the overall story is a hot mess. They poke fun at the hokey magic during the first movie, while ignoring the message that friendship is important in this film. There was essentially nothing added to this universe outside of the small scene that happens during the end credits.

Spoilers ahead!